I saw this little gem somewhere – the ultimate deep-as-a-pie-pan entitlement poster. Gah! My rewrite:
JUST DRIVE – WEAR CLEAN CLOTHES – DRINK HEAVILY – KISS NO FROGS
Times, as far as I’m concerned, are changing and fast. For the better, personally. Woo Hoo! Am happily tossing ideas, people, and situations into the yuck bucket and out of my cave as quickly as possible. These include:
- People who have access to a shower and a washing machine, yet refuse to use them on a regular basis. Poor eyesight and a stuffy nose are no excuse. Unfortunately, I know of what I speak – when one stinks, wears shirts with dribble all over them combined with pants/shorts with Tootsie Roll stains in all the wrong places, one should rethink appearing in public. Ever. Like Never!
- Online dating – no haters, please, I know there is about a terrific 1% success rate. I rather like to think Cher was ahead of her time when she sang, “Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves” – perfect description of what I found when I dipped my big toe into that scummy pond.
- Dental avoidance – there is no one who hates dental procedures more than moi. No One. And I’ve had to shell out more than the cost of a small car to keep mine intact. So you have dental insurance and still walk around with a mouthful of nasty marigolds? PAZZESCO!
- Disrespectfulness – “Why You Gotta Be So Rude?” Would you rather be kind or right? Choose kind. Otherwise, you can be right all by your lonesome. In the course of having to be right all the time, you alienate just about the whole population of the world and show your ass, big time. And you would be a dumb ass, not a badass.
- Assuming Anything – Oh, Lord, I have the worst struggle with this baby but it’s going out with the bath water. While it would be severely awesome to know the whys and why nots of all things, it is a total waste of headspace to wonder – with regard to the actions of people. Just ask. If that’s not possible, let it – and them – go. Having to assume in the first place indicates a ridiculous communication issue. And most of the time, those who confuse me most deserve my headspace the least. So take a hike and get gone.
Ok, enough randomonium. Off to finally figure out what E=MC2 really means. Ha!