What I Hope I Never Do Again

  1. Ride on the back of a motorcycle with no helmet. On twisty hills. Or on a flat surface.
  2. Lock myself out of my house in my pajamas and have to sit on a curb waiting for someone with a cell phone to walk by so I can borrow it to call my spare key person to come over and let me in
  3. Eat cooked cabbage, scrambled eggs, wild game, sweet potatoes, and crow
  4. Get divorced
  5. Go to a very boring party, drink too many margaritas, have to go to hospital and have the doctor ask me if I was trying to pickle myself
  6. Go out with anyone who orders pure beet juice as a preferred beverage
  7. Expect more from a person than they have to give
  8. Put up with bad behavior in order to not make waves
  9. Kiss ass
  10. Say “that’s fine” when it most certainly isn’t
  11. Intentionally hurt people I love as well as those I don’t
  12. Throw up
  13. Burn up a car engine because I forgot to put oil in it. For a year.
  14. Accept “less than”
  15. Buy anything that I won’t use or wear or give away
  16. Ignore red flags and red lights
  17. Get bored


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