Just Not Gonna Do It

The weather continues is incorrigible – grey, cold, and rainy. Stop it!  For whatever reason, February is a funky month; maybe that’s why it’s so mercifully short.  Haven’t talked to a person yet who isn’t already weary of this month. I’m thinking that all the Valentine’s hype – pink, red, hearts, love, chocolate, romance, endorphins – was specifically designed for the middle of this month to lift spirits. The jury is still out on the lifting spirits part. But the colors and sentiments presented are pretty.

There are events, situations, and pretty serious stuff going on in my life and the lives of those I love now. I do what I can to help others when they will let me. I can’t fix anything for them, but I can listen to them, cook for them, run their errands, give them big hugs, love them and pray hard for them. In a twist on an old saying, we do for others what we need for ourselves. Not in a selfish sense, but putting good out there is what I do at the very moment I really need so much good myself.

Times like these strain my happy muscle to the snapping point.  In the past, I would have already settled in, all cozy, in the dark place. But that was then.  No amount of worrying, fretting, weeping, or wailing is going to change anything where I live.  Yes, I am questioning much. No, I will not perform emotional autopsies on the issues that loom.  A futile and non-productive effort at best. Whatever. Whatever comes, goes, stays. I’m going to continue hurling good out there. Focus on the good stuff:

  • My mom is getting her treatment even though it has nothing to do with fun and comfort.
  • Two precious women I work with are pregnant and just looking at them makes me happy.
  • My friends and family are amazing.
  • Cooper is a cuddle-bug.
  • Found my own children’s favorite books are still on the bookstore shelves. Love that. Get to take new copies as a baby shower gift tonight. Passing it on. Yes!
  • Received a surprise gift in the mail late yesterday – a Valentine’s present from a completely awesome person I love to pieces. It is a beautiful little tray that says, “A Faithful Friend is a strong Defense”.  Am I lucky or what?
  • Even though the word “difficult” doesn’t even begin to describe it, I accept what is and know in my heart what isn’t. I can’t miss what I don’t have.  Again, whatever.

So, time to get ready for work and go out into this day. It’s a gift and I’ll focus on that. And I’ll be damned if I allow myself to be dragged, kicking and screaming, into the dark place. Just not gonna do it.

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