Don’t write Dear John letters, don’t even know a John.
Nevertheless, if I had to write one today, this is what it would say:
Dear John/Jerk/Village Idiot/Man sort of,
- We are NOT on the same page regarding this relationship. No bad guys here. Just different wants/needs. You would be on the idiot page and I am on the “are you kidding me” page.
- My patience has been worn thin. As a matter of fact, it is so thin you can see through it. Sheer. Grow up.
- You talk about taking care of yourself emotionally. I must take care of myself the same way. No more deposits, no more investments. No more throwing good love after bad. Blah, blah, blah, blah!
- Time is short. It is of utmost importance to me that it be sweet as well. Please head to behavior rehab asap.
- I am loyal to a fault. But age and wisdom have taught me that even if I put my eggs in a good basket, I can retrieve them and place them in a better basket for me. I am currently in possession of said eggs. And I am preparing to throw all of them at your car.
- Good relationships take work, but it is the kind of work you want to do. How old are you, anyway?
- You are a good man with strange thoughts. Have you had a serious head injury?
- I would ask that you leave me alone, but you are a master at that, so the request is unnecessary. Shoo!
- Please take care of yourself. Or hire a doctor to be on call 24/7. He/she should be a practicing psychiatrist.
You are free to walk about the plane, the city, the country, the world. Wear a parachute in case you fall off the edge. On second thought, leave parachute at home. Karma’s going to bite you in the ass no matter what. Cheers!