How Do You Like Yours?

At the risk of ending up the Mrs. of that wee smoking Chinese midget on the last “Amazing Race”, I’ll cast my fate to the wind and be straight up about the kind of man I am attracted to.  My instant karma being what it is, Wee and I will be smoking God knows what in some Chinese province in no time.  But just in case, here’s what works for me:

  • Let’s get the physical out of  the way first.  Human.  Tall (6’2″+) and reasonably fit.  Arms and legs  a plus, but not a deal breaker. Must have all original teeth in good working order.
  • Must be employed.  And a gentleman in every sense of the word.
  • Thoughtful, kind, educated, and most of all, funny. Dry wit.  Must think I’m funny and adorable in every way, even when I’m not which is about 90% of the time. In turn, I will be very sweet.
  • Must be a man, not a boy.  He can have some boy hall passes, of course, but continuous stunted growth behavior is NOT sexy, interesting, or acceptable. To me.
  • Must have a life and, in turn, accept that I have one as well.  This does not mean extracurricular running about with other women if you are the man.  No suburban Jesse James-types allowed.
  • Vulnerability and honesty are good, excellent communication skills are very good.
  • Deal breakers:  lying, cheating, cruel streak that rears its ugly head all too often, selfishness, delusional psychosis, alcoholism, drug problem, sex addiction, zero self-confidence, too much self-confidence, secret hatred of women. Con artists, grifters, and couch potatoes, make yourself scarce. And take the manipulators with you.
  • No yelling or screaming.  Library voice preferable.

I’d better stop. May be asking for too much, dreaming AND ranting.  No mas.  This is my list for today.  As for tomorrow – who knows?

Just got pinged … it must be Wee.

Later.

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11 thoughts on “How Do You Like Yours?

  1. After my divorce I made a list of 24 qualities I’d need in the next man. After my last breakup I upped the list to 26. Presently I’m dating a man who, I kid you not, hits on all 26 cylinders, although there is one that’s a little gray. Wishes do come true.

    • I am truly happy for you. You must be an amazing woman and Mr. Now is one lucky person. Since my divorce, I’ve had the uncanny misfortune of trusting the wrong people. My bad. But good. I’m learning. And your story is a fine inspiration for me. Thank you so, so much!

  2. LOL! Why it looks like we have the same taste in men. My husband is (just about) all of these (except he stops at 6′). Oh, and he’s missing one tooth, but it’s way in the back and not noticeable. LOL!

  3. Love your list, but feel the need to add a couple others that, uh, personal experience makes me require: 1) must not believe aliens once abducted him. 2) must not believe “the virgin mother” demands we be together. and 3) must not let food fly out of his mouth when he’s eating. ~ah~ the dream man . . .

    • Love your additions! Haven’t encountered alien abductees or those who must comply with commands from the Vigin Mother. I do have a short list for the aliens to abduct and if the Virgin Mother wants to remind them of the Ten Commandments, all the better. As for food flying out of mouth, that would mean chewing with mouth open which would mean uncouth, deliverance-type loser. EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW!

  4. yes, Izzy, men like that do exist. Glad to hear you have standards. I have yet to create attractive characteristics in a woman, so I’ll use your list as a template.

  5. My partner is a little adrift of your criteria but he is 6’6″ tall and 22 years my junior – so I still feel like a winner! 😉

  6. This one had me AND my husband laughing out loud. He said, “She’s one of us.” I can tell I am sooo going to enjoy reading your past posts!

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