Trust Me?

“Trust me.”

In my personal operating system, everyone starts out with a clean slate.  I’m an optimist.  But I am also realistic. 

 I have blithely made choices in my life, unknowingly or knowingly, that have detonated emotional weapons of mass destruction, changing the course of my life and devastating those who accompany me on this journey. The good choices are, in my mind, divinely inspired; the bad happen when I go rogue.  And there are always consequences.

Lately, the days have been lovely.  No issues, no problems.  But I have felt slightly off-kilter, agitated, and I couldn’t put my finger on what was causing this.  Am so very thankful this mystery didn’t last long.  The course of my life just took a turn I never saw coming as the result of another’s choice.

As I’ve said before, I process slowly.  So I’m still thinking about last night’s sucker punch.  Probably will for a while.  When I make the mistake of trusting someone who deserves anything but, I feel stupid.  And deceived.  Manipulated and used.  You might think this would send me spiraling in a downward direction, but no.  Right this minute, I feel just the opposite.  I feel lucky, plucked from potential disaster disguised as a dream.

The funny thing is, when I was given this recent information, it came with the repeated pleas, “Trust me.”

My response to that is the same right now as it was last night.

Methinks not.

Later.

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12 thoughts on “Trust Me?

  1. I swear it’s like you’re reading my thoughts, lately. I had to do a double take this morning when I saw this post in my inbox, as I seriously, honestly thought I’d written it.

    Know EXACTLY what you mean. I had a huge fight with an ex of mine last night and ended up finally just losing it and shouting my head off. Long story short, (and although I haven’t been attracted to him in a long time–at all) he made me feel very stupid, very used and manipulated. That is not something I take lightly. He takes my anger as jealousy…which is completely ridiculous. He flatters himself.

    It’s going to be awkward for a little while, but life is better without these people in them.

    Thanks for being psychic, and I hope your situation works itself out as best it can 🙂

    • Wow. Same situation sort-of, different people. Yes, we have to eliminate the toxic disquised in normal clothing. We determine how we will allow others to treat us. Armed with knowledge,a steady set of personal boundaries, and the ability to say, “Your behavior is unacceptable”, situations such as these tend to disappear – along with the pompous person who uttered them – in a puff of smoke. And that is a very good thing. Have a happy day, I am. 🙂

  2. Follow your gut instincts, my friend. Whoever delivered the sucker punch is a prat (not sure I used that word properly…but it is what I’ve heard my English friends say). Your writing is too beautiful for you to be troubled – thinking of you.

    • THANK YOU, my friend. Trouble was verbally escorted off my premises and the gate locked. So appreciate your comments and I always love a new word, especially when it decribes the unworthy. Have a good day at the horrid office 🙂

  3. Seems that we’re on the same page in life! Craziness! I feel ya on the being made to feel stupid. I hate that feeling. Hate it even more when it’s pushed on me under the guise of ‘caring about me’.

    Mmhmm.

    Whatevs.

  4. After many long years of various heartaches, caused by various people, I am now happy with my latest partner… But I’m also much tougher and much more aware of the sacrifices I make to be in a relationship. I have to care what someone else wants, I have to care what they think. I used to WANT to do that, I was really clingy too – now I think of it as something I wouldn’t have to do if I lived the single life. I know I can be happy alone (with my youngest son) and that gives me power.

    You’re clever and funny, you don’t have to take any shit and you know that. You also recognised a lucky escape when you saw one. Go you!

    *hugs* stupid but enjoy them anyway. xx

    • Wow, I can’t thank you enough for this reply. When I love someone, I want to make the sacrifices – and usually do. But time and experience have allowed me to know that I can’t do all the work, in other words, he has to care about what I want and what I think. Then, and only then, does it have win-win potential. I can be happy alone as well and that is a powerful feeling. Thank you for your support and I’ll take those *hugs* any day! *hugs* back at you!

  5. I have wondered lately if you can truly be in love with someone that isn’t in love with you. I mean, if they’re not reciprocating, you’re not really getting the full “love,” right?

    Anyway, I need to get to ok with being alone again. I was before I met my English heart-breaker, but for whatever reason I lost it. Probably because everything changed so much. I lost my job, gave up my apartment, said goodbye to those I love, and went a-traveling for 6 months.

    I’ve recently figured out what I want to do with my life tho, so maybe I’m on the road to recovery. Thanks for writing! It makes me feel better that I’m not the only one out here with those feelings. 🙂

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