Heavy Breathing in Crazyville

Silly stuff around here. My mind is running about 110 mph – nothing new, but don’t even know where to start.  Probably with a list, sooooo predictable. Or not.  Only want to focus on what has amused me since last post. Focus –  I throw that word around liberally. And we’re off…..

  • I admit, I am a Grey’s Anatomy person. Do not jack with me when that show is on.  Especially during the TWO-HOUR-SEASON-FINALE.  My Cooking Partner failed to see the importance of this event; as my eyes were glued to the screen, he starts off with a “state of the union” address.  WHAT?  A MAN WANTS TO DISCUSS RELATIONSHIP??? DURING THE MOST SHOCKING GA SHOW EVER???  I knew he was bored and just trying to get my goat (metaphorically speaking – don’t have a goat).  I shut him right up with two points.  A.)  I was in the same situation – in a hospital with a shooter who walked right past me and opened fire, killing a nurse. That awful revelation only made him more determined as he believed it was bad for me to “relive” it.  I lived, damn it, let me watch this show. If the state of our relationship can’t wait two hours, there ain’t no relationship. But he persisted so I had to pull out B.) “I have watched stupid “Most Dangerous Lobster Fishermen From Hell” about 20 times because you like it.  And I didn’t even talk during the commercials.”  That got him.  After he said, “It was King Crab.”  Whatever!!!!!
  • Trying to get rid of excess, I put some books in a garage sale.  One particular title was, “How To Get Pregnant” (a very old book).  A bachelor bought it for his coffee table.  Is that the best bs or what? 
  • Was scheduled to read to my daughter’s third grade class yesterday.  Took them cookies and passed around embarrassing photos of her, instead.  The class was adorable.  They asked the dreaded question, “How old are you?”  Only because they are too young to be math wizards, I replied, “How old do you think I am?”  First answer, 28 – nope.  Second answer, 40 – nope.  Third answer, 30 – WINNER! Extra cookie for the boy in the back!  Hahahahaha!
  • Class also asked me about Miss Peach’s sister, College Girl.  Poor College Girl, when she was little we called her Cousin It/David Letterman.  She had a beautiful lion’s mane at age 3; she would wake up shrouded in hair and wander around like that until someone would have mercy on her and part that stuff.  She also had a rather sizeable space between her front teeth, hence David Letterman.  She is not scarred for life, she still has a beautiful lion’s mane and can part it herself and her front teeth cozy up to each other.  College Girl’s mother was/is MESSED UP.
  • The tribal drumbeats began early this morning.  College Girl was in tears because she HAD to stay out until 2 this morning and was at her babysitting gig at 6:45 am, then she had to move, then she had another babysitting gig.  Miss Peach called seven times, she rolled in at 3 am.  I still don’t know what she was said.  These girls need some serious time management techniques. College Girl called back this afternoon.  She scored a queen-size bed with all the linens and a set of silverware from the morning gig.  All is not lost.  Never was.
  • Engagement party last night, kitchen shower at noon today.  Really fun to see old friends as well as Miss Peach and her gang.  I swear, time flies.  They were gangly, goofy, not- as- sneaky- as- they- thought- they- were teens; now they are gorgeous, confidant young women with the world at their feet.  I love this.  Miss Peach breezed in to the shower looking a bit green around the gills.  Maybe that was why she called me seven times.  Do I look like Dr. of the Overserved? Methinks, NO!  Been there, done that, slept on the tile floor. Bleck.
  • Cooking Partner brought me a bunch of beautiful pink peonies.  He knows which side his bread is buttered on.  All is forgiven. Am such a pushover.  Sometimes.
  • Made the easiest sweet for the shower – really.  Go to the store, buy the little square pretzels, a bag of Rolos, and some whole pecans.  Turn on oven – 250-degrees.  Put foil on cookie sheet, put pretzels on cooking sheet, unwrap Rolos and put one on top of each pretzel.  Pop in oven for 3 minutes. Take out, smush pretzel on soft Rolo, then pop cookie sheet in refrigerator for 30 minutes to set.  Instant turtles.  All gone.
  • Dumbest definition of word for the day:  meantime – “from now until something else happens”.

Excusez-moi! This is too random, even for me. Off to screw head on straight. Or not. 

Later.

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23 thoughts on “Heavy Breathing in Crazyville

  1. Now I am really hungry! I have no Rolo’s….no pretzels…..but I do have a cookie sheet…..maybe I’ll go eat that…..while I am watching “The Deadliest Catch” (the crab show)….:)

  2. If my partner – a cooking one or not – would not shut up during the Grey’s finale. I think he would have been “accidentally” locked in a closet for two hours. Oops.

    You handled that very well. I can’t believe you had personal experience like that. INTENSE.

  3. OMG, Dave and I are like that. He doesn’t usually want to talk – unless I’m trying to concentrate on something. Grrr.

    • I think they do it on purpose – they really don’t want to talk, but if they catch us while we are busy and say they do, then they have frame of reference to fall back on. Probably not this complicated at all but you catch my drift, 🙂

  4. Yes, you definitely qualify as a blogger “who really counts.” You had me laughing out loud with the “Lobster Fishermen from Hell” line.

    If I had a nickel for every episode I’ve watched because of my husband’s fixation with that show, I wouldn’t have to publish. I could give my books away on the corner next to the wacky old lady who dances with head phones on.

    I don’t know what is worse, the lobster show or Jason Bourne. If he had his way, he’d be Jason Bourne fishing those lobsters out of the Bering sea while trying to find his true identity.

    • Hahahaha. Thank you! You’ve got Jason Bourne/Lobster Man from hell and I’ve got William Wallace(Braveheart)/King Crab from hell – maybe they can go fishing together and catch a whale or something:)

  5. Izzie, you are never too random and I love following your line of thought!

  6. Izzie, I love your lists. I do have a suggestion for the bachelor who bought, “How To Get Pregnant”. It’s the follow-up, “Coitus in 3 Easy Steps”.

  7. meantime – “from now until something else happens”.

    I think that’s my life. I might have to quote this one. Sarcasm makes my day, any day. Unless there’s love. That makes it too.

  8. My wife and I were in full lockdown mode last night for the finale of LOST. We told the kid that if he answered the door, the phone, or came into our room during anytime other than commercial breaks….he would be DEAD!

  9. Never watched Grey’s – I was an ER girl. Now Mercy is my show. (Hoping it comes back!) Loved the post – as always, quite entertaining!

  10. No comment. Have to wait till the detectives leave the house….

  11. I am SO with you on interrupting me during my show. I have it on my list of peeves (very near the top!). Tonight, Glee is on and I’m sure someone will need to discuss their day right at 9:00. Hey, maybe if I go to the store on the way home and pick up a roll of duct tape, some pretzels, and some Rolos…

  12. Your days sounds too much like mine. 🙂

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