Oh, DO SHUT UP!

... and I mean it!

Disrespectful behavior. Unsolicited opinions. Judging others with a harshness you would never turn on yourself.  I’m not mad as hell, but I’m not gonna take it anymore.  As a repeat offender of all of the above, I beg for blanket forgiveness. Am currently undergoing Think Before You Speak Rehab. Am also offering a 20 for 1 Free Won’t You Join Me deal for this course. It’s said that the characteristics we dislike most in others are probably ingrained in ourselves. I’m in rehab and trying to mind my own business.  So, what’s your excuse when you say:    

  • “Do you still see what’s her/his name?”  If you know me, you know very well I do.  Your disdain/dislike for people I welcome into my life is Not appreciated. 7 bitch slaps
  • “How is the situation going with _____ <insert loved one>?”  Do you have dementia? Seriously? I’ve answered this question of yours about 100 times.  Your lack of concern is duly noted. 14 bitch slaps
  • “That’s the only brilliant idea you’ve ever had!” Maybe so, maybe not …but you look and sound like a condescending shrew when you throw this one out in front of a group of people. 21 bitch slaps
  • “We don’t approve of that/her/him/it?” Funny, I don’t remember asking you for your opinion of that/her/him/it. I do remember you weren’t born with a silver spoon crammed in the lower portion of your face. So pitiful not even worth lifting my hand
  • “What were you thinking (in reference to personal choices)? Gee, I was thinking about what works for me and what makes me happy. And thinking a bit longer, you and your expectation hoops never crossed my mind.  If your opinions are so important, run for judge. 11 hits to the side of head with heavy gavel

Don’t mean to start the day as Ms. Grumbleton. But I’ll be damned if I’m going to accept anymore of this nonsense with a smirk.  Nor will I use the words brewing in my head when I hear such things … you have shit for brains, obviously your frontal lobe stopped developing when you were 11, and surprise! you are an inflatable gas bag. Where’s a pin?    

Instead, I better work on keeping my own behavior in check. Eyes on own paper and all that.  But as a perpetual Girl Scout, I will be prepared….    

Now where’s that duct tape?    

Later.

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15 thoughts on “Oh, DO SHUT UP!

  1. Your post today delighted me and extra lot! Brilliant! Giggle Rating – 10!

  2. Oh man, when people get digs in at you by pretending to care… I HATE that.

  3. Key word “PRETEND”; funny how they are never around when you could use some help!

  4. I am bitch slapping myself repeatedly about the buttocks…..and I don’t even think I that I did anything wrong…..that I know of…….. 🙂

  5. I used to force a smile on my face and take people’s inconsiderate remarks. I don’t anymore. I zing them hard enough to bring tears to their eyes. They either stop talking to me (yay) or they keep a respectful tongue. It’s win/win either way.

  6. I absolutely love this post! I hate it when people ask me how something is going just so they can tell me what to do and not actually listen to me or care how it’s going.

  7. How did that duct tape work out for ya?

  8. LOL! Maybe we should start a television show: best ever replies to bit”#€%&ches (and a!”#€%&holes)!!

  9. hahaha! i totally love that picture!

  10. I have duct tape in 6 different colors…oh, the possibilities…

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