Don’t Touch That Zit!!!

Saw this book the other day. HAD to pick it up.

High School Health Book, published in 1955

Started flipping through the pages. Wow. WOW!

Stop it!

This explains so much. My mother, aka The Demented, Unlicensed Dermatologist, would perform bizarre facial extractions on my tween mug, without my consent. She should have been a wrestler; she could snag me with her super-duper scissor/head lock combo in three seconds flat. Yo, Ma, you gave me a SERIOUS BRAIN INFECTION. (Better keep this revelation to myself; wouldn’t want the insurance demons to discover my pre-existing condition). Nevertheless, keep your grimy hands away from that T-zone …….

"Well-adjusted people get along with others and make the most of their environment. These traits show emotional maturity."

Note to Editors of this book: we’re talking HIGH SCHOOL, here – there is NO SUCH THING as well-adjusted OR emotionally mature. As you are all probably dead, it’s rather useless to ask you, “Were you experimenting with LSD when you published this?” Nevermind. I’m certain of it. There is no other reason you would add this DEPRESSING peak at the future….

This Is Tragic

Yes, these geezers look “ripe” – like Lois, the corpse flower currently blooming at HMNS. The only activity I can’t see is the person in the background calling the funeral director about the two zombies playing checkers. Can’t even address the “inexpensive hobby” and “companionship” stuff. Dead Editors, could you not have punted “old age” and directed your attention to Β high school booger pickers? Now that’s a health issue, I’ll tell you. And Leonard E., wherever you are, your nasty fetish grossed me out from fourth grade to HS graduation. I pray every single night you are not a dentist.

High School … who doesn’t have a yearbook with the phrase, “Don’t ever change!” written in it. Apparently, there are some people who took this seriously and haven’t – after millions of years. Keep your hands to yourself, off yourself, … whatever. I’ve got to go rest my brain infection.

Later.

Β 

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35 thoughts on “Don’t Touch That Zit!!!

  1. killin’ me! thanks so much for sharing this – Jennifer

  2. I actually remember this photo! I’m sure it was reused in later editions…

    My mom was obsessed with ridding my face from those nasty blemishes…she had what’s technically known as a “comedone extractor” (we just called it the “zit picker”). Instead of putting it over the zit and pushing down towards the face, she’d push down and pull sideways at the same time…creating a whole new world of pain!”

    I successfully resisted the urge to pick my kids’ zits…I believe their zits are their own (and really none of my business).

    Fun post!

    Wendy

    • Wendy – we share yet another something! This is crazy! My mother’s comedone extractor was a full set of ten talons. Now I must go google “comedone” πŸ™‚

  3. It seems the editors of this book also had a hand in those dreadful health films that were shown in schools for far too long. I say, show outdated sex ed. films in a double feature with “Reefer Madness”. It should be good for a laugh or two.

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  5. Figure 1-7… the ideal friends, and the fact that I didn’t have friends like that is why i am or.. am not the woman I am today.
    Great book, you were smart to buy it!

  6. Oh my, your mother sounds very familiar …
    *Cindy laughs and squirts coffee all over screen*

  7. I laughed all the way through this post. You are so clever and down right funny! I especially liked the clarification about teenagers. I heartedly agree that teens are not well-adjusted. How can they be? Their frontal lobes are not fully developed. Thanks for ending my day with some great humor.

    • JoDee – I think you’ve hit on something! Next time my girls roll their eyes at something I’ve said, I’ll have the perfect comeback. “Well, it’s about my frontal lobe, when I was young, your grandmother gave me a brain infection…..” P.S. Read your two most recent posts – so, so, so GREAT!

  8. Caption should read “Former well-adjusted highschool kids creepily holding hands and skipping in a group for no apparent good reason due to serious brain infection…we know what they have been doing.” We have come a long way, thank goodness, in our health information…hysterical. Love you most!

  9. “Well-adjusted people get along with others and make the most of their environment… The rest start blogging”.

  10. HAHAHAHAHA! This was freaking hysterical.

    I love old books like this. My favourite is a how to be a good wife book. Killer advice in that one.

  11. Ooops, must have missed that “good wife” book, hence divorce. Oh well. My hero is the bachelor who came to my garage sale and bought my book, “How to Get Pregnant” for his coffee table. THAT is good bs.

  12. Cracking up over here! This book is comedy gold. “serious brain infection” Did they really believe that or were they just trying to get kids to stop picking at their face during class? That picture looks like a gangster’s mug shot, too.
    And holding hands and skipping shows “emotional maturity”? Oh, lord. Still laughing! Great find!

  13. If I saw a group of teens holding hands and skipping, I’d have to ask them what they’d been smoking, I mean, REALLY!

  14. Oh my lordy, this is amazing. It’s beyond. It’s hilarious. It’s blooming marvelous. And it’s bloody scary!!!! Yikes. LOL. Didn’t they have retirement homes in Miami back in the day, with swimming pools and nightly dances??? (Or did I just watch In Her Shoes one time too many?) My bday is coming up. My wish, as last year, is to around 111, be playing with my man, in a swimming pool… I may have to link this… Thank you for constantly having me in hysterics. Awesome.

  15. OK, is it or me or has everyone stared at the skipping man’s crotch. I’m just saying!!!!

  16. OhMyGosh!!!! Izziedarling, you had me laughing hysterically because I too, can relate…and so can my daughter! πŸ˜€

  17. Hey Tea! Thanks! πŸ™‚

  18. This was fabulous! Thank you, thank you! And, I must say that the looks of companionship on the old folks’ faces is slightly alarming…

  19. Yes, AG, they are terrifyingly scary companions! πŸ™‚

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  21. Ok if I have to settle for playing checkers at that age, please shoot me.

    At least take it up a notch. Full-contact extreme chess or something.

    (Great blog, by the way. Got here by way of the gorgeous blonde who linked you)

    • How about murder-suicide? I’ll kill you and then shoot myself. Thanks for stopping by via Dizzy, she’s awesome! Your blog is GOOD – will be reading more. Very impressive.

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