What a coincidence! I find myself starting out anew (again!) and “Eat, Pray, Love” is in movie theaters. Maybe I should go to Rome, India, and Bali to find myself. Oh, wait. I’m not independently wealthy. Oh, wait. I have responsibilities that require my attention. Oh, wait. I am too old to run away (hint: celebrated sixth birthday awhile back). Oh, wait. I have love, family, friends, and a life I’m not walking away from, no matter how twisty it is. The only commonalities I share with Elizabeth Gilbert are divorce and a yoga practice.
When I read her book years ago, I admit, I enjoyed it as a fantasy mapping the personal journey of a privileged woman “find” herself in exotic locales. Period. The hype, the hysteria, the overblown promotion of the movie is ridiculous. It’s just a book, just a movie, just entertainment, just about as “deep” as a pie pan. There’s a place for entertainment and no, all movies can’t be “The Hurt Locker“, but EPL is NOT the new lifestyle bible for women who find themselves up a creek without a paddle. This is not an Oprah moment, ladies. I don’t want to have to bring this up again. Now, on to other nonsense I’m thinking about:
- I hit hobbies hard and then lose all interest ( a few of the million projects shown below).
- It’s absolutely nuts to have a rigid life plan. I believe this because no matter how hard you try to stick to wherever it is you think you are going, there will be all sorts of hijinks on the journey requiring you to jump, stoop, turn left when you want to go right and vice versa. Needless to say, my life plan is … flexible.
- Job suggestions so far: move to a tourist town in the middle of Texas and start a cleaning service for all the B&B’s (fail); become a demo lady at Sam’s or Costco, cooking tidbits in a weird pan and handing them out to the starving shoppers (I don’t think so); apply for staff position at French château making beds and washing dishes(change of scenery, wear REAL French maid costume every day, polish up my foreign cuss words – this one might have legs, cin); reactivate my real estate license (kill me first, please). These are all good jobs that I wouldn’t be good at but never say never, right?
- Suggestions for the interim time: buy a lobster at the grocery store and take it for a walk, hop on one leg all day, send excited replies to all the male enhancement spam that is sent specifically to me even though I’m not male and have no equipment to enhance; drive around and wag my finger at nose pickers, go to the courthouse and marry my dog; the possibilities are endless …
- Do anonymous good deeds all day long. Key word: anonymous. This is fun. But I can only be good for a limited amount of time. Like 30 minutes.
- Explore new hobbies … learn to cook Elvis Presley’s favorite foods, collect pantyhose, raise sea horses for fun and profit, wear a fake nose and see if anyone notices, count how many balloons I can blow up before passing out.
All kidding aside, there is volunteer work to be done. There are responsibilities to take care of. And, I can always kick up the fine art of procrastination a couple of notches despite the fact I’ve already got a black belt in that category. One thing I won’t be doing is going to see a certain movie based on a certain book ….