Who Put the “Oxy” in “Oxymoron”?

It’s all Greek to me. I have a summer cold. Not quite an oxymoron, but I am freezing despite the fact that it’s hotter than hell. So I started thinking about the oxymoronic. And being the “listy” sort I am, I offer you the selections I love to hate:

 

  • Natural makeup (right!)
  • Modern history (not touching this one with a ten-foot pole)
  • Spicy hot (as opposed to spicy cold, beat a dead horse, do ya?)
  • Clearly confused (there would be nothing clear about confusion, hello)
  • Bittersweet ( No! You can’t have it both ways – sad or happy, pick one!)
  • Agree to disagree (PC balderdash. No one is budging and nothing is accomplished)
  • Freezer burn (how about just plain old “rotten”?)
  • Irregular pattern (really? Why use two words when one will do?)
  • Lucky stiff (in my alternate universe, stiff would be dead and dead has nothing to do with lucky)
  • New and improved (pick one or the other,you cannot have it both ways!)
  • Customer service <insert hysterical laughter>
  • Tech support <insert maniacal laughter>
  • Draw a blank ( _____________________________)
  • Strangely familiar (banging head against wall repeatedly)
  • Free with purchase
  • Clean air (what is that?)
  • Same difference (BASTA!)
  • Passive aggressive (smiley face with a knife, stab thyself)

Rats, am breaking out in a cold sweat. Which contradictory words make your head explode? Consider this a brief survey that is open-ended …… and just waiting for your R.S.V. P. if declining (hahahahah!)

Sooner or later.

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19 thoughts on “Who Put the “Oxy” in “Oxymoron”?

  1. These are great! Got a couple more for you…

    Military Intelligence (which I was in…)

    and around here, you see lots of signs for “clean dirt wanted”

    🙂

  2. Oh Idiot – yes! Military Intel – hahahahaha! What in the world is “clean dirt”?

  3. Thanks izzie, I had a loud chuckle and woke the dogs 😀

  4. I am not sure if this is it, but what about Old News? Summer colds are the worse….hey, I hope you feel better soon.

  5. Haha, one of my favourite stupid oxymorons is Civil War – how can you have a civil war?!

  6. You may feel bad but you’re still sharp and witty as ever. Have a cup of iced chicken noodle soup and get better.

  7. I’m loving your hysterical and maniacal laughter.

  8. Jumbo shrimp
    Plastic silverware
    Oh, and my favorite from my office: Mandatory Holiday Party

  9. Oh, Amy, you are GOOD!

  10. I think you covered most of the ones that make my head throb, but anything to do with “government intelligence” makes me laugh out loud.

  11. These are great – though bittersweet I think can be experienced, if not at the same time, with one taste closely followed by another.

    Other’s – Guesstimation
    Cautiously optimistic (I’m hopeful, but not really?)
    Controlled anarchy

    • Yours are great … cautiously optimistic is pessimistic, hello! I agree on the taste aspect of bittersweet … but applied to life stuff, it’s weenie way to say “sad”, no? Controlled anarchy … haHA!

  12. Jim came up with this one: necessary war.

    Wendy

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