Gritch and Bitch


Hope you weren’t expecting lollipops and rainbows, today, because it’s not gonna happen. This isn’t my favorite day. So maybe a good rant will calm me down.

Professionals Who Suck

I have a genetic predisposition to high cholesterol. Am not fat, don’t eat crap, blah,blah. Had labs drawn at last “lady” appointment. Go straight to GP for medicine. Did I mention I despise my GP? I DESPISE him. I haven’t seen him in four years; he has the bedside manner of a wildebeest. But I had to suck it up and go to him for medicine. And he’s still an asshole. I know, I know, I should change. But I am lazy and I actually enjoy staring him down with complete disdain, refusing to show any reaction to his lamo jokes and only answering questions with “yes” or “no”.

Asshole Dr.: ” So, izziedarling, how long have you had this condition?”

Me: “Yes”.

AD: “What are the symptoms?”.

Me: “No”.

AD: “Did you hear the one about ….?”

Me: “You are not funny. Give me the medicine or I will cut you.”

And he does because he’s such a bad doctor. And I have to go back this week and see if the meds are working. So, you see, I’m getting my snark on.

I was reminded about horrible doctors while reading Loon’s blog about a doctor who tricked his patient into letting him “breastfeed”. People were wondering how the woman could be so stupid, but I can see how it happened. I have a friend who was sick. She was old enough to go to the doctor by herself, but still young enough not to question his diagnosis procedures. She had a touch of the flu; he had her take of all her clothes and hop on one foot.  Wrong. On. Every. Level. But she didn’t know she’d been had until she got the hell out of there.

I had a Spanish professor in college who offered one-on-one tutoring sessions. I was having a hard time in his class so I signed up for tutoring. Little coed that I was, I showed up with all my questions and homework. He proceeded to tell me that my problem with Spanish was sexual (?) and went on to ask me all sorts of highly personal, pornographic questions about my sex life. It took me a few minutes to realize this wasn’t any sort of tutoring session I needed and I said, “adios, asqueroso!”

Stuff I read today that is really stupid

Apparently OnStar is preparing to offer subscribers a new service.  For a few dollars more, you can have OnStar read you your Facebook and text messages while you are driving. Oh, that’s rich, as if people don’t drive bad enough with just the radio on. And really, is there a Facebook or text message that can’t wait until you get where you are going? It’s bad enough that cell phones are all hooked up in the car, how many ways can they come up with for us to accidentally commit suicide and/or murder? And pay for it?

An engaged woman in the state of New York faked having acute amyloid leukemia; she scored everything from a wedding dress to a honeymoon – all donated by kind people. But karma’s a bitch, bitch. Now all she has to show for it is divorce papers. Boo Hoo.

Designer Diane von Furstenberg has reinvented the hospital gown. That is a good thing. Now I hope she will hit up her perfume division with the notion to dispel the distinct odor of hospitals. Win. win. win. win. win.

This morning on, there was some idiotic article about mortal sin and which celebrities committed them. Excuse me, raise your hand if you are perfect. No hands? Exactly my point. Who is in charge of editorial content there? Beg, borrow, or steal some brains, please!

Recession Dining Hints

Actually, the following information stands for all the time. David Bakke wrote an article outlining what to avoid when dining out – moneywise.  His list included pasta, soft drinks, wine, pizza, and the “nightly special”. His reasoning? The markup on these items is ridiculous. Just sayin’ (restaurant friends, do not scream at me).

Whew. Am fresh out of snark. For the moment. If  I stay inside much longer, it’s not going to be pretty. Have I told you how awful I am when I’ve got way too much time on my hands? Argggggggggggg………


24 thoughts on “Gritch and Bitch

  1. Hi Izzie:

    Hope those meds kick in soon…if it makes you feel any better, my old doctor was accused of having an affair with a patient half her age, and paying him (in drugs) to torch her van for the insurance money.

    I usually avoid pop in restaurants too…go with ice water…lots cheaper!


  2. oh good grief, wendy! hope that doctor is in prison! *hugs* even though I’m a grumpy snark

    • Crazily, she opened up her medical practice in January of this year after getting a conditional discharge (she was suspended from practicing medicine for almost four years). From the Internet article:
      “She pleaded guilty to a charge of obstruction, but was found not guilty on charges of trafficking of prescription drugs, conspiracy to commit arson and uttering threats.”
      I got a new doctor…


  3. I couldn’t handle a doctor like that. I tend not to go to the doctor unless it’s extreme, like my head is only attached to the rest of my body by a tendon. My doctor knows I just want to get in and out… and I think he might be a little afraid of me…

  4. Your doctor story brought back some bad memories of a wierd experience I had with a Gyno once. He started asking me some highly personal questions that made me get those icky feelings in the pit of my stomach. How very gross that we women sometimes go through these strange, socially awkward doctor’s appointments.

  5. Well Snarked! Best Snark rant I’ve read today! 🙂

  6. Blahahahah I always wonder when doctors go to dinner parties do they mention us patients? Sheez, I would.
    “Hey Bob, you know that cute looking chick with the leaky tits? Yeah, well, I convinced her to let me suck them. No shit, true story. “

    • Yes, they do go to dinner parties and tell EVERY LITTLE DETAIL, I kid you not. Have been to too many gatherings where they are the center of attention with their gross stories, with me egging them on for more (bad me!).

  7. I’ll give OnStar a miss, thanks. Likewise I will not blog about my doctor as he reads my blog, I kid you not …

  8. I love this post! 🙂 And please snark away… Oh, and pls let me know if you know which hospital it is that’s offering this designer hospital gown b/c I would love to pay a visit. Teehee.

  9. There was a doctor in Lovell, Wyoming who sexually abused his female patients for years and years. Later they were asked how they couldn’t know what he was doing and they said they did, but they were raised to believe that you don’t questions doctors. What a huge amount of power to abuse.

  10. OnStar will read your Facebook to you? Seriously?
    OnStar: Friendly McFriendperson tagged you in a photo.
    Idiot Driver: Really? What photo?
    OnStar: Well, it looks like you, passed out on a picnic table with your skirt hiked up around your waist and your head lying on a plate of potato salad.

    This world is doomed. Can I get some of those drugs?

    • HAHAHAAAAAA. Of course, you made me laugh even though the world is doomed. I refused to have OnStar and got hijacked on Facebook so that should be that. But I could still pass out in the p. salad – I’ll wear pants to picnics from now on. Like I go to a whole lot of picnics ….

  11. I too have one of those docs and (snicker) looks like I need to take some lessons from you. LOVED the post, you always get me laughing and that’s the best medicine in the world. Still gotta have my scripts, though. 🙂

  12. Hey Bonnie! Gotta have my meds too or it can get ugly…..:)

  13. Can you say Vata Imbalance? Because I can…..!


    (with a few giggles and snorts thrown in)

  14. I’m new to your blog and I just wanted to stop in and say I completely enjoyed this!!!! These are the types of rants that flood my mind everyday! Especially the bit about OnStar — What the hell?!

    Anyway, I’m definitely coming by this way again. Love your writing!

  15. What the hell, indeed, Prose! Thank you and the feeling is mutual. Rant on!:)

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