Here a snark, there a snark, everywhere a snark, snark

Life around here is so bloody boring, I’ve taken to re-reporting news, lying, and confirming suspicions that I’m demented. My family must be so proud. But I digress …..

Broken News

Florida Reverend Terry Jones isn’t going to burn the Quran after all. But the story keeps changing by the hour.  Methinks he’s been influenced and encouraged to back off! This guy has blown smoke up  global petticoats, getting all sorts of attention.  And nine years later, Osama bin Laden has yet to be located. My head just exploded.

 

Msn.com offered up some pretty interesting – if not totally weird – stories today. The first one I read, about Old Salty Restaurant in North Carolina, was entertaining. Allegedly the Old Salty owner has posted a sign which reads, “Screaming Children Will Not Be Tolerated.” Gotta love her. She says business is better than ever. There are, of course, discrimination issues boiling. Call me a knucklehead, but I didn’t know that screaming children who disrupt the ambience in a restaurant were under attack. I’m with Old Salty, but I think she should add the following to her sign: “Parents Who Sit There and Let Their Children Scream Will Not Be Tolerated, Either”.

The medical news was repulsive. One of my good doctors told me that a generic medicine can be as much as 25% different from the more expensive original. I found that dismaying until this morning. In a story by Maria Szalavitz, it was revealed that our medicines – depending on what you need – can have sewer swill, nun urine(!), rooster combs, Gila monster slobber, viper venom, and/or sea-snail poison as ingredients. Don’t even get me started about the nun urine. Remember, my head already exploded.

For those of us watching our budgets, which probably includes 99.9 % of the population, Investopedia had a piece on overpriced products.  This list included movie popcorn, greeting cards, college textbooks, bottled water, printer ink, and brand name fashion. Who can afford to buy the popcorn if they do go to a movie? Plus, it’s my personal opinion that the “butter” is strangely similar to suntan oil. The college textbook scam has been going on since …. college had textbooks. As for bottled water, the article said at least 48% came from the tap. Which means I will be offering izziedarling kitchen hogwash for the very low price of $4/bottle in a store near you soon.

Liar, Liar, My Pants Aren’t On Fire

I told a boldface lie yesterday. Tried to tell the truth but it was rejected. An elderly man was sitting in a taxi across from my townhouse. I had to take Cooper (a.k.a. spawn of Cerberus) on a walk. Walking past the taxi, the gentleman asked me if Coop was a Border Collie. I said, “No sir, he’s a JackRat.”  He asked me again, “Is he a Border Collie?”. I said, “No sir, he’s a Jack Russell”. He asked me the same question again. I said, “Yes sir, he’s a Border Collie”. Now Cooper is about as much of a Border Collie as I am, but the man wanted to hear what he wanted to hear. So I lied.

Sad but True: Am Nuts

I read this thing online that outlined how to answer surveys and make money. I was all over it – work in nightgown, tell the truth, and make money? Really! That was three days ago and guess how much I’ve made? Two cents. Swear, that would be one penny and one penny. So, let’s all go to Old Salty and have a round of Gila Monster slobber on me! Oh yeah, leave your screaming children at home … or with Reverend Jones; I have a feeling he’s going to be on a new career path.

Later.

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25 thoughts on “Here a snark, there a snark, everywhere a snark, snark

  1. I’ve been a little on edge this week and I swear every screaming kid in the world has been in the restaurant. I’m so damned sick of it I want to punch their parents in the face. I don’t care that the little spawn is only 2 years old, shouldn’t it be in school?!

  2. NUN URINE? NUN URINE????? Now there’s an image that will send shivers down your spine! 🙂

    • I kid you not … that sure caught my attention … it has something to do with fertility drugs … and they have to use the loo like everyone else so … still sort of a bad visual at best 🙂

  3. Well, I earn my living writing college text books, so I hope that story is largely unread around these parts.
    Suntan oil? Okey dokey, that’s confirmed my aversion to movie popcorn.
    You’re a hoot, izzie, thanks for the early laugh.

  4. You had me at “nun urine”…

  5. Hi Izzie:

    Glad that Reverend Jones has put down his barbecue starter…

    I would patronize “Old Salty.” I have the same policy at my house!

    If you’re bored, you could put something ridiculous on Cooper and take him out for a walk, just to see how people react…

    Hugs,
    Wendy

    Hugs,
    Wendy

  6. The Nashville paper sent out an alert yesterday saying that a preacher in Springfield, Tennessee, plans to burn a Quran this weekend, too. Here’s his quote on Muslims in America: “If they want to have their religion, they can have it somewhere else.”

    No word yet on whether he’s going to suspend his Quran burning, too, now that he’s gotten his name in the paper.

    • Well, hello Mr. Freshly Pressed! So great! Yeah, now there are a number of preachers threatening to burn the book. Can’t they just pass the offering plate during church service and be done with all the hystrionics?

  7. “I’m with Old Salty, but I think she should add the following to her sign: “Parents Who Sit There and Let Their Children Scream Will Not Be Tolerated, Either”.

    Amen! Some parents let their kids scream and scream and run around all over the place, but then complain about people giving them nasty looks and being kicked out of places.
    Children can be difficult, but some people really need to discipline their kids!

  8. You are so right, Pauline! It all starts at home. Where they should leave the screaming children. 🙂

  9. I feel bad for the poor dogs that have to wait quietly and patiently outside while these kids are kicking up a storm inside. I will dine w/ pets any day. Great post as usual!

  10. oh yeah, nice new layout of your blog.

  11. I LOVE THIS POST! Yes, yes, and a resounding yes. You hit on so many of my pet peeves that I don’t know which one to comment on so I will go with the overpriced ink cartridges. There is definitely a conspiracy going on here. My printer insists I change the cartridges, and when I shake them, the ink still sloshes around inside. Someone is in cahoots. I want to scream, “Just bleed us financially why don’t ja.”

  12. P.S. Your header photo is amazing!

  13. Hi there

    I came over to your blog from Wendy’s at writerwoman61 – great award you gave her, and well deserved too! I love your blog – great humour, and you made me laugh a lot. I’ll be back here for sure!

    Sunshine
    x

  14. I still give you credit for your good taste 🙂

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