Monday Madness

I’m drinking my coffee and reading the “news”. Ha! It may be early, but the weirdo stuff is already popping up. In our first category of the day – and considering it is Monday – we have work.

Creativity in the Workplace

In a story by Rachel Farrell on MSN.com, “unusual job titles” are revealed. Some of these include, but are not limited to, Chief Wiggle Eye Gluer, Overseer of Order, Director of Storytelling, and Head Worm Wrangler.  Others listed were Marble Lady, Chief Sparkle Officer,Chief Fun Officer, and my favorite, Director of Chaos. These are real titles at real companies. But I think a few of these could possibly be applied elsewhere as well.

  • Head Worm Wrangler:  Heads of Congress and Senate (duh);  Andy Cohen, Sr. VP of Production and Programming for Bravo, for risking his life to bring us the delightful “Real Housewives of….the Eleventeenth Circle of Hell“.
  • Overseer of Order:  Mothers everywhere (no currency distribution).
  • Director of Storytelling:  Press Secretaries, HR Employment Interviewers, anyone who says, “Let’s have lunch”.

Sparkle? Nah. And the idea of forced hijinks requiring a Chief of Fun at work sounds like a the perfect place for a Wiggle Eye Gluer. I am the Chief of Chaos in my own home and that doesn’t pay well.  I’ve decided the best job in the world would be to work with Peggy, on the hilariously genius Discover Card commercials created by  The Martin Agency.

Loyalty3.jpg

The other story that caught my eye – and blew my mind – was about an implant removal. A 28-year old woman with a pretty face recently had her size M chesticle implants removed. Yes, that would be a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l, M! World’s largest. Excuse me, this just brings up sooooo many questions. How in the world would you a.) walk upright, b.) find something besides a bedouin tent for clothing, and c.) do that to yourself in the first place? Good grief, she’d have to go to a truck weigh station for a mammogram. But that won’t be necessary as she’s suffered from life threatening infection since her surgery in Brazil, requiring removal of implants and most of her breast tissue.

Must take a tonic and lay down. Overwhelmed by nonsense.

Later.

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19 thoughts on “Monday Madness

  1. Oh man! I wish I could be the Director of Chaos!! Being the CEO of IDIOT INC. is getting so boring! 🙂

  2. Or (d) ever see your feet? The mind truly boggles!
    Sunshine x

  3. Hi Izzie:

    I think you’d be an awesome Chief Sparkle Officer! With your shopping talents, you could make other people “sparkle”! LOL.

    Hugs,
    Wendy

  4. M?! I’m with you…why? Just why?

  5. Wow. Feast or famine huh?

  6. Oh, oh, oh, I want to be Director of Chaos! Oh, pick me, pick me!

  7. As CEO of Lunacy, I offically bestow you with the title, Molly, Director of Chaos! Now go make some mischief………………………..

  8. Size M?? A friend of mine is a double D and her back hurts all the time, so I also can’t imagine how anyone would function with that size.
    I’d like to have a larger chest, but not the middle of the alphabet large!

  9. I can’t imagine wanting boobs that big. I guess if you just want attention, but that’s taking it a bit far. I mean, jeez, just have a size 38DD and you’d have men drooling…

  10. Wow, i had to read that twice. At first, I thought you meant M as in Medium, not bra size. Eeks. Hope she recovers soon.

  11. Ha, now I know what to ask with a next promotion: a change in title to Chief Fun Officer.

  12. Pingback: birthday wishes and pasta frisée dreams « foodtable: an eclectic blog about food & dining out

  13. People do the stupidest shit to themselves. They should all be removed from the gene pool.

    I want to be the Overseer of Order. Things need to get under control.

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