In my world, I associate clowns with scary psychos. The Disturbed Ones. There ARE some very disturbed people out there; the search engine terms they’ve used to find this blog make me look like the picture of sanity. My team of psychiatrists, therapists, and med dispensers will be overjoyed. Really.
I was inspired to write this after reading a post by my friend, Wendy/Writerwoman61; she’d researched search engine terms people used to find her blog. As an indian, not a chief, I decided to copy her. Yes, I am terribly original. But not as original as the true oddjobs who’ve used the following terms to find me.
*WARNING! Do not read while eating. Search engine terms used here are overwhelmingly preoccupied with women’s lingerie and restroom habits. What does THAT mean? No, don’t tell me. Here goes:
- Heart and cardiac and dental: gov – this would be from my rant on health insurance; probably my health insurance company logging reasons to drop me. This being America and all.
- Karen Carpenter: have never written anything about Karen Carpenter. WTH?
- OK Google Why Should I Buy a MINI Cooper?: didn’t ask Google. Is Google the Wizard of Oz? I’m not in Kansas anymore?
- Sweat Homes: excuse me, misguided person, I believe you’re looking for a sweat LODGE.
- Orange Pantyhose: not in my wardrobe, you jackwagon.
- Office Skirt Facial: unfortunately, it gets weirder than this, I promise.
- When Skirt Falls Off: it did.
- The Day My Panties Fell Down: wrong person, wrong panties.
- Oh, My Knickers Fell Off Again and Again: see above.
- Happy Birthday Pajamas: am I dim, or is this a nice term for “naked”?
I can’t even type some of the others as they are beyond foul. I will leave you with the most bizarre term I’ve ever been associated with and I don’t like it one bloody bit: plastic panties stuffed with pudding. Are prison residents allowed computer access? Insane asylums? To the pervs who find this blog by mistake – or at all – please search elsewhere. Get off my grid. Capiche?
Yes, I am Grumpy Grumbleton today. Deal with it.