View from My Sleigh


 After multiple years of forcing my children to deliver Christmas presents, this year I did it myself. Because they disappeared just about the time they heard the empty tape dispenser hit the garbage can. And … because I wanted to. First time for everything. I’m not the door-knocking, visiting sort. Just a overage elf, sneaking up to the front door and leaving the goods. Made a few observations while tearing about town.

  • Say everyone living in your house at this moment (i.e. home from college, rehab, prison) has a driver’s license and a car. If there are more than two of you, the outside of your home looks like a garage. The mechanic kind – where you take cars to be fixed. Gives sort of South Bronx veneer to the very nicest of  neighborhoods.
  • Am convinced the recession skipped this area. (Not me, but everyone else). I have not seen as many mansions – serious housing – under construction, ever. I find this very confusing. Maybe some “numbers” type can straighten me out. Wow. Double Wow.
  • I LOVE those giant Christmas bulbs hanging everywhere – makes me feel like I’m on the set of BIG. Happy fun.
  • I noticed some homes that had been decorated to the hilt in prior years are void of any gay apparel. The homeowners are elderly now and I guess it’s too much to for them to festivate. Sniff, sniff. I would have helped them. There’s always next year, I guess.
  • It is unsafe on the streets during the day. Have almost been slaughtered too many times to count. By people who have no business behind the wheel. Some would say that would be me. But some can stick it up their nose. <meant in nicest way>

Better get back to the paper-tape-bow situation. More deliveries to make tomorrow. Please, please, PLEASE have a wonderful holiday. Really. Eat a bunch of food. Drink gallons of …whatever you please. Laugh as hard as possible. Remember the lonely and unloved. Enjoy the best way you can.



*p.s. Don’t be getting the notion I’ve gone all sappy here. Just bought The Snark Handbook and The Snark Handbook, Insult Edition. Brushing up for the new year, I am. *



19 thoughts on “View from My Sleigh

  1. Hysterically funny! Thanks for making me laugh, especially since I have yet to wrap or deliver even a single gift, not one among the many this recession (as you point out) has enabled me to buy. I guess it’s good I have the shopping done——–
    Happy Holidays from Haiti,

  2. Hey Kathy! Happy Holidays to you. Have been MIA and need to get over and visit your blog. Be safe and All Blessings! iz

  3. Happy Holidays, izzie, thanks for the laugh.
    Look forward to lots of snarkings.

  4. Merry Christmas to you too, iz – much love and peace and happiness to you and your family!
    Hugs from chilly London
    Sunshine xx

  5. “I LOVE those giant Christmas bulbs hanging everywhere – makes me feel like I’m on the set of BIG.” That is a cool!

    You’re the sweetest, Izzie! Even if you did buy the snarky book.

  6. Love, love, love you all….have a festive time this weekend and tell me all about it!!! Merry Christmas to all!!

  7. I have no idea what’s going on, but people here can’t drive, either. Of course, if would help if they’d put down the cell phones and actually pay attention to where they’re going!

    Merry Christmas, izziedarling!

  8. If I may recommend – to you and everyone else… If you see a wonderful lights display that makes you smile, send that house an anonymous Christmas card. Write down the address, use to find the zip code, and send a card without a return address or signature – just a note saying how much you appreciate their display. Maybe that will make them do it again next year. 🙂

    (I’ve done this, and I hope it puts a smile on the homeowner’s faces.)

  9. From the Land of the Post Holiday Blur:. Funny, I was thinking about the DC area, how really nice homes are now bought by developers, torn down with multi-million dollar homes going up that are sold even before construction begins. What happened to the recession?

  10. I’ve often thought industrious teenagers could make some money over the holidays if they’d decorate the houses and yards for senior neighbors, then take the decor’ down after New Year’s Day. It’d give the oldsters some holiday joy and teach the kids compassion. Hope your holiday was wonderful, Izzie — see ya in 2011!

  11. So nice of you! Happy New Year iz and to repeat myself, I forgot to include Buena Vista as a must go for your daughter’s SF trip. Great irish coffee. Now if she can’t consume alcohol, she should have it w/o the whiskey. 🙂

  12. FT, I fear, with all your amazing suggestions, she will come home with a million extra pounds! Ha! She’s a runner so I’m not worried but we are both so very grateful to you for your most excellent advice.

    • Your welcome izzie. I am sure she will find lots to do w/o any of my “suggestions”. Since she’s a runner, will she like me to point her to some trails for runs? They are quite safe and very public (meaning quite a few runners around, too and scenic.) Let me know.

  13. The Snark Handbook? I might have to invest in that.

    Happy New Year!

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