That’s the word on the candle I pulled out today. So far, the vibe is very good … laughter, imagination, JOY!
I thought about my recent conversation with a homeless man. He said, “Every day you wake up on this side of the dirt is a good day“. Joy, in various forms, is everywhere; we just can’t see it or feel it sometimes.
So I decided to be joyous about unloading the dishwasher that does not clean the dishes. Piped up the iPod and danced while unloading the unclean dishes into a sink full of soapy water. Dancing makes me happy. My dog thinks I am strange. Feh!
The happy, happy, joy, joy situation lasted right up to the minute after my youngest walked in the door from Austin. She’s home just long enough to pack and head out to California. She is a runner with a bad muscle pull and two half-marathons scheduled for this month. She has not been able to run in two weeks. She is not joyous. But I was happy to see her. She verbally stuck a pin in my joy bubble. “I’m so worried about you. How can candles support you? What is your business plan? Don’t you think you need to go out and get a job and have some income? “
I was speechless – and that’s a first. When I found my words, I’m afraid they were NOT VERY NICE. Am not used to being grilled, especially by my daughter. Apologies were issued all around. When I had a moment to think about it, it occurred to me that her worries for the future fueled her inquisition. Been there, felt that. But what was hardest on her was the fact that I was NOT tearing my hair out and biting my nails down to the quick, gnashing my teeth and wandering about in a state of torment. As if. That would have been my MO in the olden days, but that was then and this is now.
Next time anyone peppers me with a rapid fire of personal questions, family or otherwise, I will pull out my current favorite snark response: “I’m busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?”
Off to focus on JOY, damn it!