Shopping for Novelties?!?


I love to shop. But you need money for that. So now I “window” shop. Online. Somehow, I bumped into some funny items the other day. Very Necessary Items. If you are of a certain twisted mindset. Sharing:

On the website I found the following:

  • Lunch Lady Action Figure, $9.99 (can’t you just smell the yeast?)
  • “Maybe You Touched Your Genitals Hand Sanitizer”, $4.99 (this is just flat-out great bs)
  • Instant Underpants, $3.99 (apparently an underwear pellet requiring a good watering results in a serviceable pair of undies. Wet undies. Hmmm)
  • Ear Guards, $2.99 (as best as I can tell, these are two little ear shower caps to wear to bed; supposedly these will keep creepy crawlers out of the ear canal. Disgusting thought.)

Another website, appropriately called, had some interesting offerings:

  • Potty Putter, $29.95 (multi-tasking for golf enthusiasts?)
  • Corn Dog Chap Stick, $2.90 (there really is no accounting for taste; this is proof)
  • Happy Gum for Your Crappy Life,  $1.69 (I am saving my pennies and buying a case of this stuff!)
  • Fake Moles with Hair, $1.95, and Fake Pimples and Warts ( a must when you want to make a good impression)

And last, but certainly not least, I found THE PERFECT ACCESSORY for myself. Have had a problem with birds. Dropping their business on me. A lot. Of birds and business. But that’s old news; I’ve got protection ….


Later. If I can ever figure out why the color system on this toolbar is wacked.

22 thoughts on “Shopping for Novelties?!?

  1. Glad you found something to protect you from those inconsiderate birds!


  2. Thank heavens my credit card is maxed out and I can’t shop at the moment …

  3. Is that umbrella hat big enough to shield your entire body from bird poo?

  4. Smelling yeast on a lunch lady has sanitary implications. I’m not sure if I’d want her handling my buns. Does the toy have a hair net and is perpetually cranky?

  5. I’ve seen umbrella hats like this at local fairs and festivals, Izzie. Apparently, they shield out hot sun as well as bird poop. Can’t see as they do much for one’s image, but YOU might heighten their “cool factor” — who’d’a thought puffy coats would catch on?!

  6. Sorry, Izzie. Up here, we call them buns not rolls. I do remember the smell and it was awesome.

  7. That’s ok, Brad … I should have been more specific! My bad!

  8. Hey! I used to have a Potty Putter! It was loads of fun! Gah!!! You mean it was a gag gift?????? D’Aun!!!!!!!!!!

  9. When I see products like this and realize people actually buy them, I think I’m in the wrong business.

  10. Fun stuff! Instant underpants is just weirder than the rest though.

  11. I want instant underpants.

  12. Hats rule. ’nuff said.

  13. Loon – Of course you bought that – hahahah – brilliant! x iz

  14. “Lunch Lady Action Figure, $9.99 (can’t you just smell the yeast?)”

    Uh…I hope not.

    Maybe we should go in together on the case of Happy Gum for Your Crappy Life?

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