Bucket Decorating & List Making

 

This ain’t no stinkin’ bucket list. Just so you know.

First things first. Lent starts Wednesday so I have given a little thought to what I’m giving up. And taking on. Which leads me to a word I use with gusto. It begins with F and ends in K. You can say it alone or add “you”, “me”, the names of friends, neighbors, family members, people on tv … well, the possibilities are ENDLESS! So, I’m giving up saying the F-word until April 24. Knowing myself all too well, I’ve made provisions for those times when I’m tempted.

Provision 1: Home: All credit for this goes to Amy Sedaris; one of her hilarious books, “I Like You … hospitality under the influence”, has a crafty little project called a “F*&k It Bucket“. Can’t reference what goes in it as some little f-er borrowed and never returned my copy but that’s not the point. I’ve made my own FIB. Any time I am provoked to think about saying the word, I will write down the person, place, or thing that is pissing me off and drop it in the bucket. Easter Bonfire, my house, dusk.

Provision 2: Away : Will always have some iMechanism with me. All equipment features the EXPLICIT version of Cee Lo Green‘s song, “F**K You“. The nice version, “Forget You” simply will not do. When my feathers get ruffly, I’ll simply smile and play that tune AS LOUD AS POSSIBLE! I would say the w-w word here, but Charlie Sheen has stomped that sucker dead.

More Changes Beginning Wednesday

  • No “Dancing With the Stars” this season. Am giving up watching this more out of pity than sacrifice. The cast absolutely sucks, I thought Wendy Williams was a man, and poor Kirstie Alley, well I can’t even go there.
  • I will take Cooper (my dog) on longer walks each day so his nickname will not be Fatticus Finch.
  • I will not pretend I don’t speak English when people I don’t like ask me questions.
  • I will not cross my eyes and make gagging noises when helpful people tell me what I should be doing to improve my life.
  • Anonymous good deeds … can’t say any more on these as they are … anonymous.
  • Giving up jalapeno potato chips and jalapeno Cheetos. HARD! And Scotch, green peas, and yams. EASY!
  • Exercise every day
  • No Whining – ughhhhhhhhhhhhh!
  • Be sweet – aggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Off to put the second coat of varnish on my f-ing bucket. 🙂

Later.

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23 thoughts on “Bucket Decorating & List Making

  1. Oh Iz, you make me laugh. Pretending you don’t speak English? Wish I could get away with that! You’re right about the dog walking, though — you’d be surprised how many people talk to you when you’ve got a dog on a leash!

    • Debbie – you CAN get away with that … just do it! I do it with people I KNOW – course I don’t like them – so a good long stare gets the message across.

  2. Love a duck…I couldn’t give up saying the F-word until tomorrow, let alone April 24th! It’s probably a good thing I don’t “do” Lent!

    Good luck with your list, Izzie!

    Hugs,
    Wendy

    • Hey Wendy – soooo glad Lent hasn’t started because someone just pissed me off and the F-bombs are flying every which way! Maybe I should give up Lent for Lent? xo

  3. F**king hystercial! I love it and probably would fail miserably!

  4. Good luck with your list…..after a few days without the Jalapeno chips….yer gonna need a huge “F” bucket…..ha ha….. How come STOP HOARDING is not on the list? 🙂

  5. Why is it that use of the f word is so completely satisfying under cercumstances? My ex MIL, a devout Methodist, actually used to say “Oh fudge.” Fudge, although completely swell when inhaled in vast quantities, should never be exhaled. Only the F word should be exhaled. Good luck on your Lenten committments.

  6. I like the bucket! As a side note, I’d like to add that I’m completely obsessed with the Cee Lo song. As in I play it, and when it’s over, I decide I need to hear it again…back to back.

  7. I love that Amy Sedaris book! And her new one “Crafts for Poor People.” And I love the idea of the Easter bonfire. Be sure to give a warning to the fire department!
    I’ll be thinking of you come Wednesday.

  8. Can’t really say what happened to me, my apologies. but, it’s nice to see you’re still here, and in purple (yeah, my favorite color) and as flat-out and feisty as ever.
    I love the idea of the “F” bucket but can’t imagine giving that word up.
    I love the CeeLo Green as well, and totally get it!

  9. Don’t watch movies from the UK like “Once” it will tempt you. Or perhaps if you pronounce it like they do it doesn’t count??

  10. I gave up the F-word last year for Lent. The first week was hard, but after that I just let my head explode whenever I felt like saying it. People learned to stop pissing me off.

    This year I resolved to stop eating like a pig.

    I never thought of “No hablo Ingles” for people I don’t like. I might have to pick that bad habit up. 🙂

  11. Hey YC – use “No Habla Nothing” so you cover all your bases

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