Mrs. Brown, You’ve Got A Lovely ……

 

If you are easily offended, please do not read this post; come back another day. You have been warned. 🙂

Got an email a couple of weeks ago that promised to make me laugh. All I had to do was watch the You Tube video. It features part of a BBC show, apparently about the Brown family. When the title is, “Mrs. Brown Gets A Bikini Wax“. I love British humor; despite the fact that “bikini wax” in the title is a bit much, of course I looked it up and watched. And laughed my self silly. Should you need a good laugh and are a bit twisty, please watch it to the very end. You can find it here:

I’m a link loser so just go straight to You Tube and type in the show title. Oh, don’t complain, like that’s a bunch of trouble.

Speaking of losing, since I have taken on the odious chore of cleaning my house, I have found lots of surprises. Each day I discover something amiss. Today, it was the shower door.  Most of the time, I shower downstairs. My shower exerts as much pressure as a new-born baby. But I was in a hurry. Have worn glasses for about a month. Looked at the shower door, which is all glass, as I got in. It had been cleaned with a Brillo pad and looks like a cat with metal claws went into a glass-slashing frenzy. Who in their right mind would do that?

Delving into my kitchen cabinets, I found all sorts of cutlery and dishes that were obviously removed from the dishwasher and put away – but the dishwasher was never used. GROSS.

Later, I went to my liquor cabinet. Never go there unless I’m having company … and happy pills treat me much better than moonshine. When I opened the door, I saw a slew of empty bottles: tequila, scotch, bourbon, gin, vodka. Of course, my first thought went to my girls. Wrong. They are of age and live elsewhere. Who in the world drained all the liquor bottles?

I pondered these mysteries while walking Cooper earlier. And ran into my friend, E. We chatted and I complained about house cleaning, glass slashing and the missing adult beverage material. She gave me a look that said, “HELLO!” I always wondered why my former house helper had a hard time getting to her car at the end of the day. And that also explains the glass door mess, the dishwasher that wasn’t allowed to do its job, and all the gouges in my walls and woodwork.  There was a cocktail party, attended by one, every week at mi casa. God knows, house cleaning is wretched, but get drunk after work, like everybody else.

Dumber than a bag of hammers, I am was. I once was blind but now I have glasses. Which I accidentally wore into the shower today. Whatev.

Off to bed now as I must get up at three a.m. to attend the Royal Wedding. I wonder if Mrs. Brown was invited?

 Nighty Noodles.

Later.

*Not a peep from Ms. DeGeneres … yet. 😦

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18 thoughts on “Mrs. Brown, You’ve Got A Lovely ……

  1. Oh the horror. Hey, I’m sitting here, as I type, waiting for 4AM to arrive. I should be wearing a hat.

  2. Oh dear, poor woman must have been desperate.
    Enjoy the wedding, wave at me if you see me. I’m wearing a red hat.

  3. OMG … Mrs. Brown was a hoot. Thanks for the morning chuckle. But I didn’t see her at the church.

  4. Oh my golly, I guess you’re lucky your housekeeper didn’t steal you blind, too! Considering all her other faults, you know.

  5. I’ll have to wait to watch the video until I get home (store computer is too slow)…it’s amazing what you notice when you can actually see! Sorry about your “unhelpful” helper!

    Hugs,
    Wendy

  6. huh, maybe I missed my calling. I can’t really clean for shit, but I sure can drink with the best of them!

    I may be the only person alive who had no desire to THE wedding. Now I can’t escape it! It’s on every single channel. Just mocking me. 😉

    • You have to watch that You Tube video! Seriously. Hell, if you can drink and can’t clean, you should have worked for me – apparently I paid very well for those skills.

  7. Dontcha hate having to clean house! Ugh…. I think cleaning w/o the glasses is probably a less stressful way to approach things.

    I had a cleaning woman years ago who stole little things. I was missing one shoe..I think she took just one to spite me, but could never prove it.

    • I would rather prepare for a colonoscopy than clean house but… my helper didn’t steal anything (that I know of); she just drank the place dry. Whatever!

  8. If you’ve never seen The IT Crowd I suggest you watch it. It’s hysterical. A British comedy about an IT department that evolves around 3 main characters their interactions and mishaps. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed harder for any show. About the housekeeper…WOW.

  9. Can’t wait to see it – I need about 1000 good laughs! About the housekeeper … AA?

  10. I had a house helper. She was worthless so I fired her. She turned me into DFS for having a messy house. Oh the irony. SHE was the one who was supposed to make the house clean. B*tch.

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