When Life Gives You Lemons, Throw ‘Em Back


It’s not all lemonade and lollipops around here; sometimes it’s a sauerkraut and  Draino martini situation. That would be the last 24-hours. Despite my insane determination to maintain inner composure and be happy no matter what, my cup almost boiled over.

  • Took eldest daughter to dinner last night to celebrate her birthday. We had a nice time. During dinner, a friend and his daughter walked past our table; I had to say his name to get his attention. He said he didn’t recognize me because I am always reinventing myself. My reply, “Yep, me and Madonna.” WTH? Maybe it’s because the last time I saw him, I had shorter hair and a job.


  • Mi Madre called as I was running errands earlier. She wanted to let me know “what’s going on”. She probably needed to vent, but it was one misery after another. When she came up for air, I asked her if there was anything positive? NO! Wow. No matter how many times this happens, I don’t know how EVERYTHING can always be wrong. I can’t live there. Yikes.


  • Get a text from youngest daughter. She’d planned on driving four hours to one city, run a half-marathon, drive five hours home, attend Day 6 of her sister’s birthday festival, stay over for Mother’s Day lunch, then drive three hours back to school. We’re talking one weekend here. Her text said she realized she couldn’t do all that and I complimented her on being smart, not to mention, safe.


  • My friend calls and the conversation gets around to her sucky job. She said, “I think I want to quit and be like you, but I don’t have your bankroll.” Surely she meant “bedroll” cause that’s the only roll I have. I just said, “YE GODS, WOMAN, DO YOU KNOW OF WHAT YOU SPEAK?”. Then my cell phone went dead from lack of juice. Whew.


  • Get an email from younger daughter stating she could drive all over the state and would be doing so. Emailed back, “PLEASE RECONSIDER – NOT SAFE! I then text eldest daughter about Mother’s Day brunch and that her sister’s plans were not a good idea.


  • Get a rancid phone call from eldest daughter. I love her with all my heart, but she has a bit of a stubborn streak. She’s a teacher and probably had a rotten day.  The only words I was able to understand from that spew was that I had assassinated her character(?). I could tell she was just getting started so I did what I always do when this happens; say “I love you” and hang up. No one speaks to me that way, especially my children. I mean, if God wants to talk, I’m all ears but that ain’t happening either. That I know of.

So now comes the part where you just know I am going to throw myself off the roof or at least wallow like a pig in a self-pity pool. SURPRISE! I’ve got fresh sheets on my bed, a sweet little dog that follows me wherever I go, food in my stomach, and a roof over my head. That trumps any and all of the day’s crapola.


Tomorrow will be a better day. Indeed! Right?

19 thoughts on “When Life Gives You Lemons, Throw ‘Em Back

  1. Tomorrow WILL be a better day! You have a great attitude about everything and never fail to bring a smile to my face.

    I got home from my whopping 2 day vacay yesterday and it was like everyone was lined up at my door to piss all over my good mood. It worked. 😦 Today though, they’re on their own. 🙂

  2. I should get some kind of award for losing emails. Can you send again??? Thanks!

  3. Don’t drink the Draino, come over, I have wine.

  4. Wow, so many of us can relate. Your youngest daughter sounds like my one-and-only daughter. I gave up trying to change her somewhere in junior high. She always does three times as much as a human being should do, it’s always womnderful, and it’s always totally crazy. She would have done exactly what your daughter did.

  5. Life’s shit sometimes. And family don’t always behave themselves so well… unfortunately, being related means you are supposed to talk to one another, and that means it’s usually inconvenient for at least one of the people in the conversation… now I know we all need each other and love each other really, but mums are sometimes punchbags for teacher daughters’ anger… I should know. I’m a daughter and an (ex) teacher! On behalf of irrational daughters, I apologise 🙂

  6. Amen Izzy! Keep the chin up and throw the lemons back!!! It doesn’t mean we don’t have down time … or even days or weeks. But hey, life is too short to be angry or drug down the road of misery by someone else.

  7. Gosh, Izzie, I hope the morrow’s better — couldn’t get much worse now, could it? As for all the negativity, I know you want to be there for your family, but sometimes you might try being unavailable (at least for the bad stuff!) And kids have no business worrying their moms with driving all over the country, particularly over Mother’s Day!!

  8. As the mom (and stepmom) of four girls, I can testify that girls are drama queens…

    I’m sure your day tomorrow will be better, Izzie…


  9. Sometimes, when I’m having a bad day, I just have to remind myself that at least no one got hurt, and no one got arrested, and that it things could be a lot worse.

    Hang in there, Izzie.

  10. Think of all the mimosas you can drink this Mother’s Day! Hope it gets better from here. Better yet, start early! 🙂 Hugs!

  11. But Izzie, it is so much easier to whiiiine and complainnnnnn. Hooooonnnest. But, Ok. I’ll try to focus on the fact that the glass is half full. It’s full of Guinness, too. Sweet!!

  12. “a sauerkraut and Draino martini”

    I’d laugh, but I’ve had a few of those myself. The hangover is horrible.

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