Getting My Flirt On in All the Wrong Places

About a month ago, I decided it was high time I tossed out some chum. Get that flirt on and see what I catch. In my world, that would mean smile instead of growl. I can do that. When I first found myself back in the dating market, I had several conversations with my Guidance Counselor. Redating, after a long marriage, is strange. Even stranger was my GC’s suggestion. Each time I unloaded my man confusion on her, she said the same thing. “Make some lentil soup.” Huh? Instead of stirring the pot, I broke up with her, professionally speaking. I can do this all by myself.

As of today, I am still practicing. Haven’t met anyone I want to dance with. But Momma said, “Practice makes perfect”, and I am perfecting my skills – or lack thereof. Results so far:

“Hey, Mr. Thousand Year Old Grocery Bagger, those are some awesome paper sacks!”

“Hey Mr. Dog Store Checker, you are lucky to have hair at your age!”

“Hey Mr. Convenience Store Clerk, you are brave to have such a dangerous job!”

“Hey Mr. Target Employee, red is your color for sure!”

“Hey Mr. Delivery Truck Man, thank you for driving so fast I had to stop, drop, and roll to avoid your massive grill!”

“Hey Mr. Garbage Man, you have big muscles! No hable? Merde!”

“Hey Mr. Policeman, your handwriting on this speeding ticket is so precise!”

“Hey Mr. Homeless Man Who Drives A Porsche, hand over the cup. I just got a ticket!”

Ok, so maybe I need to work some different arenas. The point is, I’m working it. 🙂

Sooner or later.

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27 thoughts on “Getting My Flirt On in All the Wrong Places

  1. Funny, but humor aside (Is there any such thing?, what you are doing is actually fantastic. You are creating a positive energy field all around you. That is so powerful. We really do draw people to us who match the same energy we put out.

  2. haha! This had me laughing out loud. Enjoy your lentil soup!

  3. Your wit and charm will kill ’em, so enjoy the fun. My gap in dating was from age 22 to age 52. A lot changed in that time!

  4. Oh dear … best of luck 🙂

  5. Amen to “chumming” although I never quite put it in those terms. We must be hanging out in the same hood because, those are all the same Men I see!!! Let’s attempt to branch out…

  6. Good luck! And lentil soup? Wow, best advice ever–Not! Lol.

  7. You are gorgeous, smart and funny, Iz…the right guy will come along…keep smiling!

    Hugs,
    Wendy

    • You are the best, Wendy my friend!And I promise, my smile is frozen on my face. Have added seasonal trees, milk containers, and my dog to the list I am flirting with. Am easily amused. Loved your repost – sweetest ever.

  8. maybe the key is not saying ANYTHING and just winking 😉

  9. Never hurts to flirt it’s good practice. And lentil soup? He/she should be fired for false advertising.

  10. You’re getting there…this is tough stuff. I put on my lacy sheer demi-bra for flirting-they can’t see it but it makes me feel sexier!
    Dating is tough! And, occasionally a lot of fun. Like winsomebella, I was married from age 22 to about 49ish… it’s a huge challenge to find one’s way out there after so many years.

  11. DD, we must look at it as an adventure – swampy in some places, moutainous in others. My adventure in marriage was 27-48.

  12. I have it on good authority that, if you really want to change your life, you’ll invest in a pair of RED SHOES! I don’t know why, or what kind of red shoes you have to buy, but you DO have to wear them, haha! Good luck, and let me know how that works out for you!

    • OK, Deb – I just invested $119 in a pair of red shoes which I will wear to Oxford wedding! Will keep you posted. As of now, we have to go to some catfish place one night, to City Market (or something like that) for dinner the next night, then wedding. Plan on hanging at bookstore & checking out Faulkner’s home, etc. IN MY RED SHOES:)

  13. I don’t flirt because I attract the dregs of society. People tell me there are good ones, but I don’t attract those. 😦

  14. Oh shiza. Apparently I flirt. With EVERYONE. Who knew?

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