Here Comes Bride, There Goes Kidney

Really and Not Really!

My youngest, McPaddie, is getting married! Her fiancé is an awesome man; we are all beyond excited. That means we are having a wedding! YIKES.

Fortunately, the big event is a year away. Haven’t broached subject of budget with her dad. While he is totally on board, he has no clue what weddings cost. I’m thinking he’s thinking $7. Am totally Scarlett O’Hara about having that conversation with him. Must contact EMS unit to have on hand when I grow a pair and spit it out. “Tomorrow is another day”.

Meanwhile, this mission requires MAJOR CREATIVITY. A few of the thoughts that have crossed my mind at 3:00 am every morning:

  • Sell a kidney (no, think that’s against the law)
  • Numerous bikini car washes (force future bridesmaids into slave labor)
  • Bake sales (one cookie = $1000)
  • Stand on busy street corner with sign (nope; too hot and I work every day)
  • Call BRAVO and ask Andy Cohen to make a reality series for us (so not happening)
  • Start a new trend: the drive-by wedding (just kidding)

Obviously, I need your help! If you have any ideas – puh-leeze throw them out here. Before throwing, please note: they won’t elope, we will do our best and honor what the bride wants on budget, we know it’s about the ceremony, not the flash.

*We are Southern. That means the weddings in these parts = church ceremony and reception. Reception includes buffet, mucho alcohol, and a great band so you dance your ass off. Just so you know. Oh, and photography. Just blew left side of brain.

You have your assignment. Am off to search for loose change.


21 thoughts on “Here Comes Bride, There Goes Kidney

  1. Here’s my suggestion: Sometime between now and then, your daughter will reach a low point where she’ll say something, “Gah, this is such a hassle. I wish we could just elope.” When she says that, you say something like, “That’s a great idea!” and offer to fly the couple and the immediate families to Vegas. Sounds extravagant, but it’s probably cheaper than a big traditional wedding and reception, and, if you’re really lucky, you’ll win enough at the casino to cover your expenses!

  2. Oh man, you are in no mans land here….or no womans land….. I have been having this same angst. Maddy has a man, that phone call has to come….she is thinking vintage flapper dresses for the bridesmaids….??? Ow, how will that look on a large size girl, not so sure.
    how to approach her dad with this number is beyond me. There is an article in yesterday’s NY TIMES about how to do it on a budget, as in go to city hall and throw it in your back yard. Not sure you want to do that. Destination weddings are interesting because less is more…… Good Luck.

    • Bev- hey! You & I are in a pickle! Re: flapper dresses – I work @ vintage clothing store; the owners have found clients most amazing vintage and our alterations lady is miracle worker! Will email you under sep cover xo

  3. Congratulations to the bride to be! The wedding set up sounds very much like the way it is here, ceremony, reception, great music, loads of alcohol and then repeat in the evening, with sweetie and ice-cream carts.

    First thing to do is to approach her dad re the budget. Then hire a wedding planner, sit back and relax. Alternately, if his budget really IS $7, make things. Make the table centres – lace covered mason jars with candles and ribbon, make the flower arrangements, the jewellery, indeed anything that your creative self is capable of. THEN sit back and relax (albeit about 5 hours before said wedding day)

    Good luck!

  4. We did our wedding on a budget of $5400. It isn’t impossible. You must get friends & family involved to do projects. Find clearance items. Pick one thing to splurge on (whether that be a fancy photographer, designer dress or bangin’ DJ…just pick ONE, the most important.). Good luck!

  5. Boy do I relate with this post. My son is getting married next summer, and I’m seriously thinking about your “sell a kidney” option :). I’ve missed you, blogging friend!

  6. I had my wedding right after lunch and before dinner so I wouldn’t be require to feed my guests much. Saved a ton (which I used to spend more on alcohol). I did all the decorations myself and made my headpiece/veil. But even with all my craftiness, the wedding was still around $5000.
    If I had to do it again (oh please god no!) I would require the guests to pay a cover charge in lieu of gifts.

  7. I have no suggestions, but can I come to the wedding?

  8. A wedding? How wonderful! Congrats all around. Having only planned one wedding — mine — I can’t begin to offer suggestions, but I wouldn’t be opposed to asking her dad for help. Hey, it’s his daughter, too!

    • Oh, Deb – he is going to help, he’s all in. Until he sees the numbers. And must be revived by smelling salts. Wedding planning, I don’t think it’s my forte; plus the pay sucks xo

  9. Congratulations to your daughter. No suggestions except that now’s the time to call all the relatives to help out. I like the idea of being creative and making some of the things. 🙂

  10. Hi Izzy! Congrats to mom and bride! … BTW – I have a celebratory post party this weekend (starts Saturday morning) … hope you attend … plenty of food and entertainment … bring your friends.

  11. Psst– happy birthday, dahlin’. That is all….

  12. I have seen the coolest weddings at people’s farms. Signs written on chalkboards. Snapshots strung up on clothespins…everything homemade and it ends up looking really artsy and cool. Check out wedding blogs. Amazing ideas there that you can do yourself lots of times. Here is a link to one I like…there is a button for DYI

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