Weirdos and Words: Get Your Freak On

I love words. Which means I am a logophile. Have used this as my defense every time I get a message from WWF player calling bs on my submission. Bam! I love words. Sue me.

It could be much worse. Sharing ….

alektorophilia – obsession with roosters or chickens

gynotikolobomassophile – nibbler of women’s earlobes

harpaxophilia – affinity for getting robbed

apodysophilia – “feverish desire to undress”

An apodysophiliac might want to meet a clinophiliac because the clino has a passion for beds. Ok, no more matchmaking.

labeorphily – student and collector of beer bottle labels

pogonophile – beard lover

spermophile – “member of family of seed-loving rodents”; this one is weird. I know a lot of rodents, but they are human and drive cars. Must ask if they eat seeds.

If you are a logophile, there’s a great new iPhone app, Wordy, The Logophile’s Primer. The word for today is ““grindhouse“. I thought it was maybe a mill for grits but no …. a grindhouse is a “low-budget film theater that shows primarily exploitation films”. Nevermind.

Now I’m bored. The word for that is “flighty“.

Later.

*Don’t take your kids to a grindhouse to see Mary Poppins. Not gonna happen.

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If It’s Tuesday, I Am Freaky

75 and feeling fine

What freaks you out?

After reading a post about hotels by domermom, I was immediately reminded of things that go ick in the night. Starting with hotels – five-star or no star – hotel rooms freak me out. When I enter one, there are activities I am forced to perform. First, get hanger out of closet and remove bedspread using hanger. Toss anywhere out of view. Not a fan of gizz monsters/leftovers. Unpack socks. Lots of socks. Which come in handy when I need to walk on hotel room floor. There is no way in hell I would put my bare foot down on the carpet. See “leftovers”. Unpack flip-flops – for shower. Flush toilet with foot. I’m freaky that way.

Other Stuff that Gags Me

  • Food troughs, as in all-you-can-eat establishments
  • Sitting in traffic and looking over at the car next to me. The driver is digging for nose gold.
  • My dog trying to cozy up to my minimal chesticles. I didn’t breastfeed my babies; he is freaking me out.
  • Smells: scrambled eggs, wet puppies, ground beef cooking, chicken boiling, cig smoke in cars, b.o., Asiago cheese
  • People scratching their privates in public – get a room
  • Chaos – some people love an environment filled with ringing phones, slamming doors, loud convos – all fine, but not for me
  • Borrowing from Peter to pay Paul (I do this regularly)
  • Intentional disrespect – i.e. ugly scuffle on DWTS last night, Bitches Housewives of Beverly Hills always ganging up on one woman

Enough! Let’s end this on a positive note! Playing Words With Friends the other night, Lady Di used “ergo“; I LOVE that word. Other faves include scathing, magical, lilting, and – when strung together – you have just won 100 billion dollars. Haven’t heard that last one yet. Ergo, I’d best get back to work.

Later.

If Your Life Was …

The sky's the limit!

Hola!

Thumbing through The Awe-Manac by Jill Badonsky, I came upon a question she posed that has intrigued as well as baffled me. I’ve yet to come up with an answer – so I’d like to know yours …. let your imagination go wild, no borders.

If your life was a box of Cracker Jacks, what would the prize be inside?”

Do tell. I’m all ears eyes!

Later. Tomorrow.

Crazy stuff.

Angry Birds, Royal Wedding, Ellen DeGeneres & Other Randamonium

Well, hello there! What’s on your mind today? Here’s what’s on what is left of mine:

  • Angry Birds: If you “know” me, you know birds like to use me as a restroom. But I’m not talking about those birds. Talking about all the Angry Bird games. They are making me crazy. I get the utmost satisfaction when I aim a bird, let it fly, and it decimates a bunch of green pigs. Especially when I give the dastardly pigs names, usually names of people I know. Am greatly stressed at the moment because there are just some levels I have yet to win. Games should be relaxing but this one is making me crazy crazier. Back off, PETA; these pigs are animated and I love animals. Except fake green pigs. Meh.

 

  • Royal Wedding: Unlike most of the population, I’m not pissed I didn’t get an invite. Although I should have. My relative was the Queen of England … for eight days. Have stayed at The Goring, where Kate and Co. will stay until the wedding. It’s quite a lovely hotel and conveniently located right around the corner from Buckingham Palace. The only odd thing about the place is that the bar includes a herd of sit- upons resembling stuffed sheep. Of course, there’s an explanation for this, but I didn’t read the book. Baaaaaaaa! The sheep seats, ha!  These two lovebirds are getting hitched as quickly as possible; weddings are not held in the Anglican/Episcopal Church during the Lenten Season. Usually. And one more thing … Ellen DeGeneres didn’t get an invite, either, and Kate‘s her cousin. Someone has forgotten her manners. Maybe that’s common among commoners.

 

  • Ellen DeGeneres: She is one of the funniest people I don’t know. And she is kind and generous. She helps people. I’m still hunting for a job. So, I decided to write Ellen, requesting her help in this area. DON’T LAUGH OR I WILL CUT YOU… out of my will.  Am well aware that she gets grillions of letters, requests, pleas and such. Am also aware that I am not her demographic target. Nevertheless, I press on. I do know, from prior work, there are people hired to specifically go through all the communication and cull, giving her what they deem a “possibility” for her show. So I included a note to the person reading my words – “*Pretend I am your mother*” Maybe a tiny guilt trip will get my words in front of Ellen. Am not asking for job on her show – just employment that pays $$ that pays the bills. Will keep you posted re: any communication from Ellen. I don’t tweet, but I can dance. So we shall see ……….

 

  • Be Specific: Need to be more specific with my personal prayer requests. Finding myself in the dating pool at this stage of the game – well, I’ve uttered the phrase, “God help me!” about a million times. Usually after a date. So praying for a nice man or gaggle of nice men to enter my space is most necessary. That has yet to happen … or maybe it has. I live with a male who loves me unconditionally, would protect me to the death, who thinks I’m the nuts and soup. He’s awesome. But he is my dog, Cooper. Methinks more specificity is in order … need to add “human” to the mix. Silly moi.

Okay, Happy Day to all.

Am off to eat my weight in chocolate bunnies.

Later!

Batter Up!

I like baseball. Because it is civilized, it’s not gladiator sport, and the players have so many kookadoodledoo superstitions. You never know how the game is going to go, so baseball, to me, is mysterious. Like life. Haven’t watched any baseball games lately, but have been doing some reading.

My youngest daughter and I went to a bookstore in Austin recently. Under their “events” section, there was a listing featuring Anne Lamott as a speaker at some future date. I freaked. My daughter isn’t familiar with her. I encouraged her to get familiar with A.L. because I love her words. Especially those describing her personal journey through life.

Right now, she is my best book friend. I usually reread her work about twice a year. She is the most … everything. But I love her words because she is most human and not afraid to share. Which leads me to share some of my favorite quotes of hers that are speaking to me today.

 “I do not understand the mystery of grace – only that it meets us where we are and does not leave us where it found us.”

  “I thought such awful thoughts I cannot even say them out loud because they would make Jesus want to drink gin straight out of a cat dish” 

 “The difference between you and God is that God doesn’t think He’s you.”

 “You can practice being right or practice being kind.”

“It’s good to do uncomfortable things. It is weight training for life.”

“Expectations are really resentments under construction.”

I like the way she rolls. I wonder if she likes baseball? My other favorite quote, alas, is not hers; I don’t know who it belongs to.

“Life  often slides curve balls our way. What we must remember is that we may get knocked out of the batter’s box this inning, then hit one out of the park the next.”

I don’t know where you are in this baseball life – still training, benched, or up at bat. I’m ready to play. Let’s cheer each other on. And never, ever, ever, ever give up!

Later.

Eat A Peach: Travel Treasures

Fresh! Fresh! Fresh!

Whenever I hear the phrase, “Eat a peach”, I know someone somewhere is going  all Allman Brothers on me. While running up and down the roads of Central Texas last week, I listened to KLBJ whenever I could. Classic rock … AC/DC, Foghat, Rush,  Uriah Heep, ZZ, Steve Miller Band. Wasn’t listening because of the music – the disc jockeys were the entertainment. “Dude” this and “Man” that; perhaps the peace pipe was moving concentrically around the room. Sort of a “back of van with Jeff Spicoli and surfer dudes headed to a concert” situation. The broadcast cut out on me when one DJ was musing on how many home runs Babe Ruth could have logged had he been on rowdy powder.  But I digress. The real purpose here is to show off the treasures I found. 

Fred peaches are the BEST! (see photo). This time of year, there are fresh peach stands all around Fredericksburg, Texas. They are sweet and juicy and delicious… just peachy! It may be against the law if you DON’T stop and buy a bag full. Yum factor, $5. 

"Tramp" lamp found in Bandera

This beauty may be the best bargain I’ve ever found. We stopped at one of those huge, musty warehouses advertising “Antiques” in Bandera. I snagged this puppy for $7. Seven Dollars! It has to be rewired but SEVEN DOLLARS? 

My sentiments, exactly

Ok, so it’s just a coaster. But the message is awesome. Wish I’d thought of it. About $3 at The Busy Bee, somewhere between Bastrop and Columbus. 

More Bee buzz .....

I love this. A new mantra! No wonder I’m unemployed.  Can I put “silly” as a strength on my resume? 

Sadie, Sadie, Overbite Lady

Actually Sadie belongs to Austin Ann but she is so adorable I had to snap her photo. Don’t tell her, but her parents and siblings are show dogs; she was punted from the circuit due to an overbite issue. What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her, right? Sadie the Sheltie, priceless! 

Another Busy Bee find

Helmet is a MUST. The word “cute” icks me sideways. Don’t need a manicure, but I do have a free pedicure certificate here somewhere … let’s see …. found it! Sign I sort of like, $3-ish. 

Goals of day: ignore all responsibilities, try to dial in KLBJ, eat a peach, get back to my addictions- Angry Birds and Words With Friends.  Better get moving …. 

Later.