A Wealthy Perspective


My, oh, my. What a difference a day makes. Am burning Wealth today. It most certainly gave me pause when I pulled that word out this morning. Especially since my daughter performed a “lack thereof” intervention on me yesterday. So I’m thinking, “Oh Good Grief! Is this a hammer job or what?”. Because the first thing I thought of when I saw that word was money. Riches. Thank God I had a second thought. Totally unoriginal, but prompting me back into right mindedness (is that a word or two?).

My dear friend, Lady Di, citizen of the world and Hostess Queen, sent Cowgirl and I an invite to gather for a few days next week. THAT, my friends, means 48+ hours of laughter and hijinks with two of my favorite people. There’s not enough money in the world to buy that kind of wonderful. But it is my definition of wealth – deep, rich friendships more valuable than gold. And I am so fortunate to be wealthy that way.

Speaking of the other stuff, money, well I was forced to write a scathing email to my car dealership today. When I say “scathing” I mean fire flew from my fingertips as I typed my words. My dad drives an SUV; I drive a Mini. His trailer hitch had an intimate moment with my back bumper. Crunch. Sent a nicey-nice email to dealership regarding when to bring car in, service need as well as repair, blah blah blah. The next email I received was from a very perky Krista in the collision department informing me that loaner cars were for service only and they had a very good relationship with Who-Cares Rent A Car. How stupid is that? I could have a loaner while my car was being serviced, then rent a car while it is being repaired? Methinks NOT. Hence, scather launched.

I’m sure I’ll be taken to task for it. Last time I wrote a scather, it was to my priests’ assistant. As it turned out, I was misinformed. But it gets worse. She and I ended up in a class together last year. When we all had to introduce ourselves, I was forced to say, “Hello, my name is Izzie and I am the bitch who wrote you the scather.” Thank goodness she was the forgiving kind.

Wealth. Heck yeah, I’m wealthy. When the Visa bill comes in, I shall call them and tell them I have 11 friends. That should more than take care of the bill, non? If not, I shall plead contemporary insanity.


Search Engine Psychos: Look Elsewhere Or Else!

In my world, I associate clowns with scary psychos. The Disturbed Ones.  There ARE some very disturbed people out there; the search engine terms they’ve used to find this blog make me look like the picture of sanity.  My team of psychiatrists, therapists, and med dispensers will be overjoyed. Really.

I was inspired to write this after reading a post by my friend, Wendy/Writerwoman61; she’d researched search engine terms people used to find her blog. As an indian, not a chief, I decided to copy her. Yes, I am terribly original. But not as original as the true oddjobs who’ve used the following terms to find me.

*WARNING! Do not read while eating. Search engine terms used here are overwhelmingly preoccupied with women’s lingerie and restroom habits. What does THAT mean? No, don’t tell me. Here goes:

  • Heart and cardiac and dental: govthis would be from my rant on health insurance; probably my health insurance company logging reasons to drop me. This being America and all.
  • Karen Carpenter: have never written anything about Karen Carpenter. WTH?
  • OK Google Why Should I Buy a MINI Cooper?: didn’t ask Google. Is Google the Wizard of Oz? I’m not in Kansas anymore?
  • Sweat Homes: excuse me, misguided person, I believe you’re looking for a sweat LODGE.
  • Orange Pantyhose: not in my wardrobe, you jackwagon.
  • Office Skirt Facial: unfortunately, it gets weirder than this, I promise.
  • When Skirt Falls Off: it did.
  • The Day My Panties Fell Down: wrong person, wrong panties.
  • Oh, My Knickers Fell Off Again and Again: see above.
  • Happy Birthday Pajamas: am I dim, or is this a nice term for “naked”?

I can’t even type some of the others as they are beyond foul. I will leave you with the most bizarre term I’ve ever been associated with and I don’t like it one bloody bit: plastic panties stuffed with pudding. Are prison residents allowed computer access? Insane asylums? To the pervs who find this blog by mistake – or at all – please search elsewhere. Get off my grid.  Capiche?

Yes, I am Grumpy Grumbleton today. Deal with it.


Off and running…

I’ve got ants in my pants. A responsible adult would be heading for work to make money to live on. Haven’t been tagged in that category so I’m packing my bag. And will post from … wherever!  Did trade  my Batmobile for a MINI and Sassy Wheels has been begging for a chance to hit the road.  If all goes as planned, God-willing, the week will be a huge Win in the fun department. A visit with my youngest and her “friend” as well as quality time with Austin Ann, then on to the Hill Country to float down the Guadalupe with more friends. Work vs. that scenario? Ha!

My worries are as common as cockroaches … job, money, health, you name it. So I’m shedding that stuff like a very bad habit. Maybe I’ll think about them next week, next year, never. Peter Pan is my hero and I’m feeling a very strong mischief vibe.  Behave yourselves, I will be checking in.

 out-to-lunch.jpg picture by jovistayfresh


Ready, Willing, & Able Do Martha’s Vineyard

Hydrangea Heaven

Several weeks ago, I went on the perfect vacation. It was perfect because I was afforded four amazing days with Cowgirl and Lady Di.  Many years ago, we found that we play very well with one another. We think we are collectively hilarious, therefore, we are. At one point, we all lived in the same city. Today, I am still a city dweller,  Cowgirl lives on the rolling range, and Lady Di is a citizen of the world, our own Carmen Sandiego.  She presented Cowgirl and me with a Most Awesome Invitation back in March, inviting us to her home on Martha’s Vineyard. Oh, my … what a glorious backdrop for our reunion. 

A view from the porch

Another view from the back porch

Looking up from the edge of the water; so beautiful until I lost my balance and fell into swampy sidelines in my flipflops

Our ride for the week, compliments of Little Didi

When we weren’t laughing ourselves silly, we were eating. And laughing ourselves silly. 

Party favor from dinner the first night

First of all, the word “charming” applies to this island. It is lush, it is green, there are no traffic lights. The towns are delightful, the temperature is divine, and when driving around the countryside, you would swear you were in rural England. And the food is FRESH, FRESH, FRESH.  Evening One, we had dinner at Saltwater, 79 Beach Rd., Vineyard Haven. Di and Cowgirl had halibut, I went for fresh corn chowder topped with fried clams (perfection) followed by a fried green tomato with lobster salad. Have never tasted a better bread pudding in my life, and I’ve eaten A LOT of bread pudding. Do stop by. 

Lunch Day Two

Truffle fries at Atlantic

Atlantic,2 Main St., was the perfect lunch spot as we “did” Edgartown on Day Two. The ambience was so great; the restaurant is right on the water. All I remember is the enormous platter of truffle fries that arrived at our table perfectly crispy and hot and divine. I’ll have lobster, again. 

Don’t have a photo for Dinner Evening Two but I promise it was miles past delicious and, of course, charming at State Road, 688 State Rd., West Tisbury.  Didn’t hurt that we were seated next to Amy Brenneman; television does not do her beauty or delicacy justice. But I digress. Fresh snap pea soup, not thick but incredibly savory. And I hate peas. I know the lobster was delicious because that is what I ordered… again. Di had halibut, Cowgirl went for a house made fennel apple seitan imposter sausage something. The desserts were beyond. Upon leaving, we were given a box of muffins left from the morning menu. I told you everything is fresh. 

We’d go to a farmer’s market here and there.  Little flower stands, featuring whatever was picked in the morning, lined the lanes wherever we drove. Did I mention “charming”? I do believe we made it to every little shop on the island. First stop, Midnight Farm in Vineyard Haven; it is a boho-groovy-urban Anthropoligie-On- An- Island sort-of-place; it’s also famous because Carly Simon is a partner. 

Very cool magazine

Picked up the early summer copy of edible VINEYARD; published four times a year, this magazine is full of great articles, information, recipes, and design.  You can check it out at http://www.ediblevineyard.com 

My favorite shop was Nochi in Vineyard Haven where I found great vintage silverplate “reclaimed” from old hotels. 

Flowers like these are in front of most shops

The last evening we went back to Edgartown, with its cobblestone streets and great buildings (promise not to say the “c” word again).

Roadside fence with ROSES

Historic place next to historic church (?) and roses, of course!

Dinner at eight at Alchemy,71 Main St., more good food. The menu was interesting and adventurous in a very Episcopalian way (later about that). Cowgirl found the cocktail of her dreams, a magic lemon gimlet, Di went halibutting again and I had the strangest salad ever. Billed as “The Salad the Chefs Eat”, it was described as having all sorts of great veggies tossed in red wine vinegar with a blob of buttery mashed potatoes on top. What? Yep, and it was the best! Couldn’t face another lobster, but of course, we had to have dessert. Waddled out, stuffed ourselves into the MINI and shot off for home. We were quite sad to think we were leaving this heaven the next day, but of course, once home, we found everything  panty-wetting(?),  pant-wettingly (?)  damn funny. So we had to stay up and laugh more. 

The next day, after great coffee and more laughing, Lady Di, the ultimate hostess, ferried us to the airport. Cape Air runs nine-seater planes up and down the coastline. Cowgirl turned green again (she was green on the way over, too). I jumped in the copilot’s seat. 

It is really hot sitting up front

The view is pretty good

Cowgirl remained green until we hopped onto the tarmac at Logan. We hooked it through terminals to meet our next flight home.  It was a perfect trip, you know the kind, where you don’t want to ever leave but you have to. And the memory stays perfect. 

Lady Di - LOVE YOU, MEAN IT!!!!!!!!


Mini Cooper Or Not? That IS The Question.

A car is a car is a car. Currently own approximately 3/4 of a “luxury” ride which I have never appreciated, especially the payments.  Don’t put much mileage on car in any given year.  On vacation, I drove this

I like. Because it goes where you point it. Because you cannot fill it with people. Hate driving with more than one person in car. Because it would be less expensive for me.  Because it has great maintainance/warranty programs.  Because I would only have to go to gas station every other month (I said I don’t drive all over the state).  But I must do my due diligence.  Have researched as much as possible.  Any helpful comments/advice would be appreciated. And yes, I do realize I could be squished like a bug.  Am willing to risk it.

Any comments?

Thank you in advance.