Can’t Touch This & a Book List

Ok, everyone is crazy. Your crazy may or may not be my kind of crazy. I just reviewed the search terms some people have used to find this locale lately. Wow. I can say with certainty, these folks are Not My Kind of Crazy (NMKC). And a few have a real struggle spelling. And a few others are clearly insane. You decide:

  • “I’m so hungry I could eat a hores” – assuming you meant “horse” and we don’t eat those here
  • Hours in a dress spanking” sounds most uncomfortable and s-t-r-a-n-g-e
  • Droll chicken” have yet to encounter an amusingly odd chicken but I like the reference to “droll” because it sounds so Oscar Wilde
  • Dentist crowns my mouth pantyhose” just gonna jump right out and say that mouth and pantyhose do not belong together, period
  • What does it mean when a fox poops on your doorstep?”it means a fox pooped on your doorstep
  • Grandma in her coffin” while this is sick freak material, a mandatory Halloween hall pass has been issued
  • I am not an ATM” nor am I
  • Starling poops on your head” wash hair ASAP
  • “Two trees chasing a dog” WTH?
  • When we go down, we go down fighting” ok
  • “Madame Poot”sorry, NMKC
  • Throw some water on me” ok
  • “Good looks a factor in love”bet you are deep as a pie pan
  • Is Temple St. Clair a bitch?” she designs the most beautiful jewelry ever, am clueless regarding her temperament

ENOUGH. Let’s talk books! Have been reading more lately – rah!

  • Already Home by Susan Mallery – read this in advance uncorrected proof version, usually don’t read this sort of book but it was good!
  • Inspirations, Selections from Classic Literature by Paulo Coelho – still reading, good
  • It’s All About the Dress by Vicky Tiel – still reading only because I’ve yet to find out about the damn dress; someone forgot to spellcheck as well as write about anything other than 1960’s celebrities
  • Apologize, Apologize by Elizabeth Kelly – will start on this one as soon as I find out about damn dress (see above)
  • shift happens! by Robert Holden – really liked what he had to say

Dashing. Be happy. Your choice.

Later.

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Current Events Report Card: Yikes!

 

 

With the holidays bearing down on us like an 18-wheeler approaching a Volkswagen at 100 mph, the only item that appears to be in short shrift is time. So I must be quick here because I never like to miss an opportunity to be snarky. The topic today is Current Events.

  • Dancing with the Stars – Grade F-: Jennifer Grey is splendid. That Kyle guy is fine. But this Bristol Palin uproar is totally legit. I have no problem with her as a human but she is no dancer. She is being used and I feel sorry for her. Shame on her mother!

 

  •  Airport Sex/Security Procedures – Grade Incomplete: This is messed up on so many levels. Obviously, those  “In The Know” have information about terrorism that demands major security scrutiny. Hello, people! Staging protests = beyond already hideous lines = people missing planes. I get the point. I have heard the woman who had a security guard search inside her underwear, and stating it was worse than a visit to the gynecologist. I’m sorry but that is beyond acceptable. And the poor man who wore a urological contraption which was broken during his search, flooding his clothing and the floor with urine. And he’s supposed to get on a plane after that? Don’t know what the answer is here. But I will walk to my destination before I will allow a stranger – or a friend – to put their hands in my pants while I’m wearing them. Sheesh! What are we going to do here? 

 

  • Raising Hope – Grade A++++++: Backed into this one accidentally and am so glad I did. This is one of the funniest shows I’ve seen in a long time. We all need to laugh. You will laugh if you watch this. No, I am not being paid to say this. Cloris Leachman is hilarious as are all the cast members.
  • Spitting into the Wind – Grade N as in some things Never change: No matter what, I will never, ever, ever, never get used to seeing Christmas decorations in August. With a slight curtsy to Thanksgiving, Christmas is pounded into our lives for way too much of the year. Thanksgiving is a great holiday, too. Would it be too disturbing to focus on one event at a time? Good grief.

That being said, have a great, happy Thanksgiving. And if you don’t do Thanksgiving, have a great, happy week. 

 

I’m putting on my body armor so I can go to the grocery store and purchase ingredients for all the items I must cook. These will be served at my Mother’s house on Thursday. And they better be delicious. Or I will get an F and that doesn’t stand for “Family”.

Gobble, gobble. Later.