Heimliching My Dog and Other Stuff

Bear with me here – haven’t posted in so long, my fingers are rusty. But let’s do get down to business nonsense.

So, my dog will not re-enter the house without my giving him a treat. My bad and he’s a fatso as a result. But I digress. Several weeks ago, I provided the requisite treat to get his fat self back in the house. The treat was rather large. Several minutes later, I noticed him walking in circles, mouth open, ears down … choking. Somewhere, I’d read something about someone giving the Heimlich Maneuver to their animal. So I got my arms around him, did HM and out popped the offender. He was so happy, he went straight into Liberace mode.

Himself, after donning his faux fur stole

Hairy Stuff

So, my hair is longer than it’s been in 22 years. Big whoop, you say. Well, it’s working for me in two ways. First, my “do” is so patently different from my former “pixie”, I can go almost anywhere undetected. Really, people I’ve known since I was 12 don’t recognize me. So great for covert operations and dodging people I can’t possibly be nice to. Second, men like hair. Who knew? I’ve grown my hair out because I wanted to, period. But it is hilarious how many men talk to me. This is not a vanity thing; when you are a certain age, the eyes aren’t what they once were and I think they are just now figuring out I’m not a boy. Je suis tout étonné.

Need some awesome White Elephant gifts? I did and boy, did I hit the jackpot at Dollar Tree. Got 12 separate hair extension situations (a bevy of colors) for $12; my friends will be delighted.

Fab hair extensions, complete with braided bandeau

Old Photos

My mom keeps giving me old family photos. Here’s the latest – it’s really a dear mother/child shot.

My grandmother and mother - love

Books

Am working through a load of pages. My book club is reading “Unbroken” by Laura Hillenbrand. Having a bit of a time getting into it. Other pages I’m turning:

  • Big White Panties by Dale Alderman – sort of amusing but no classic
  • Stupid and Contagious by Caprice Crane – she’s pretty funny
  • Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer – loved this even though it broke my heart

Bargains

Two words:  Dollar Store. No, you can’t buy everything there, but you can save some bucks. Aside from hair extensions, these spots are the best for wrapping paper, gift sacks, tissue, dental floss and weirdo stuff from childhood. Have also found an online shopping secret … check out websites you purchase from; they often featured unadvertised discounts – like 30-40% off. Experts say the discounts will only get deeper. Just so you know.

Ok, gotta mush.

Be happy – it’s a choice.

Later.

Bargaining Power: Let’s Make A Deal

 

 

I’m all about bargains, especially these days. There are still items I will spring for but I don’t spring like I used to.

Here are my latest “finds”:

The Dollar, $.99, $1.09, Whatever You Want To Call Them Stores – I LOVE these places for several reasons. Gift bags, you can get any size and/or shape for $1. And they don’t look cheap. I hate it when I have a large gift and the bag costs more than the present. NOT ANY LONGER! See ya, wouldn’t want to be ya, Hallmark! I also find microfiber hair towels, all sorts of dental items (not toothpaste, though), hairspray, glass votives, and fake pewter trays. Plus, they have a bunch of stuff that I remember from my childhood. Kitchy stuff. Probably IS from my childhood. How old does something have to be to be considered an antique?

Target – the buyers for Target are Very Smart People. One reason? The designer lines that pop up. From erin fetherston (enormous heart handbag) to John Derian ( home goods) to Temple St. Clair (jewelry), well, let’s just say I couldn’t touch any of these lines, all of which I love, without Target. Would be totally remiss if I didn’t mention my fave, Boots. Am not a big fan of make up, but there are some things that must be covered up enhanced. Have been loyal to YSL Touche éclat for years. Great undereye concealer, $45 for 2.5 ounces. No Mas! I now use Boots No. 7 Radiant Glow concealer, $12.99 for 2.5 ounces. Looks just the same to me. The other product that is major wonderful is Boots Mediterranean Olive, Almond, & Sage Wonderbalm, $8.99. My lips LOVE me.

Clothes and Shoes – am personally beyond picky about these items; they don’t have to be expensive but the lines, design, materials, and details MUST be present. When shopping for myself, I have a picture in my head of what I’m looking for and I do not stop until I find it. When I am successful, I try on item, write down style number, head home, and get on the computer. I will find the same item at a price I prefer. Win-win. The adventure, for me, is shopping for others. Which I do. Today my friend needed my help. Challenge on! Armed with her size, I pulled together a wardrobe that can take her from the beach to the White House, any season. One hour – 14 pieces of clothing. And the tab is what two pieces would normally cost. Love when that happens.

Other Bargain Stops – Saw “The Social Network” and “Winter’s Bone” for $2. Redbox rocks. You can get paid for participating in online surveys – not shyster kind, but from Opinion Outpost. The surveys aren’t long and I’ve gotten paid at least $200 over the past 9 months. Don’t quite your day job, but the process is interesting and cash is cash.

Those are my “tips” today. On to General BS. If you are not a total fan yet, please reserve next Tuesday evening for the show, “Raising Hope“. Hysterical is an understatement. If you don’t like it, don’t tell me.

Getting too general … and boring myself to pieces. Get specific! Okay, if you are a fairy godperson out there, here is what I would welcome (aside from world peace, cure for cancer, and other important issues):

  • Some levity, no, make that a ton of levity
  • A long run of very good luck and health
  • Love and laughter, company and chatter
  • Knowledge that the unspoken prayers in my heart are heard

* I want the same for you.

*Please do not use kooky formula aka “Under the Tuscan Sun”.

Do we have a bargain?

Later.

Because I need to read your posts.

Really.