Shopping for Novelties?!?


I love to shop. But you need money for that. So now I “window” shop. Online. Somehow, I bumped into some funny items the other day. Very Necessary Items. If you are of a certain twisted mindset. Sharing:

On the website I found the following:

  • Lunch Lady Action Figure, $9.99 (can’t you just smell the yeast?)
  • “Maybe You Touched Your Genitals Hand Sanitizer”, $4.99 (this is just flat-out great bs)
  • Instant Underpants, $3.99 (apparently an underwear pellet requiring a good watering results in a serviceable pair of undies. Wet undies. Hmmm)
  • Ear Guards, $2.99 (as best as I can tell, these are two little ear shower caps to wear to bed; supposedly these will keep creepy crawlers out of the ear canal. Disgusting thought.)

Another website, appropriately called, had some interesting offerings:

  • Potty Putter, $29.95 (multi-tasking for golf enthusiasts?)
  • Corn Dog Chap Stick, $2.90 (there really is no accounting for taste; this is proof)
  • Happy Gum for Your Crappy Life,  $1.69 (I am saving my pennies and buying a case of this stuff!)
  • Fake Moles with Hair, $1.95, and Fake Pimples and Warts ( a must when you want to make a good impression)

And last, but certainly not least, I found THE PERFECT ACCESSORY for myself. Have had a problem with birds. Dropping their business on me. A lot. Of birds and business. But that’s old news; I’ve got protection ….


Later. If I can ever figure out why the color system on this toolbar is wacked.