Grateful

When my eldest was in preschool, her class did a project for Parent Night. Each child was told to draw a picture of what they were grateful for and the teacher would write their explanation underneath. The “grateful proclamations” were posted up and down the halls. As parents entered the building, there were the sweet drawings. Most of the artwork featured Mommy, Daddy, Siblings, and Pets. Searching for what Miss Peach was grateful for, I noticed a clump of parents around one drawing. Ah, there it was. My daughter was grateful for fried chicken. Just another proud moment.

While I find fried chicken tasty, I am grateful for:

  • My daughters, my parents, my sister
  • A roof over my head and food in the pantry
  • Friends, especially those “heart” friends I would do anything for and I know that feeling is reciprocal
  • My sweet little dog who loves me and never leaves my side … or feet, which can be a problem but he means well
  • The good mornings that follow bad nights
  • Freedom
  • Inspiration
  • The knowledge that I am not in charge of the universe. Breathe in, breathe out.  On those days when I feel I can’t handle another broken something, when I doubt I can put one foot in front of the other, when the forest is so dense and scary and thick I couldn’t find a tree if I walked right into it, there is comfort in the breathe. Peace comes eventually. And I remember the world doesn’t spin on my axis. Thank God.
  • A job I enjoy so much it doesn’t feel like a job
  • The ability to make a difference, however small, for the better
  • Hugs. There is nothing as comforting and necessary for the soul as the human touch. Many people are “starving” for this. So simple, so easy to give. And oh so easy to receive.

Later.

Advertisements

Home

 

OMG. Have been a shut-in for too long. Having the flu is a good reason to stay inside but it’s gone to my brain. I just cried my eyeballs out WATCHING AMERICAN IDOL. Before you delete me permanently, let me explain.

This contestant, a brilliant young man with a big old voice, came on stage. I barely glanced up from my computer. And then he sang … and the tears started. He sang, “A House Is Not A Home“, and he sounded just like Luther Vandross. I love this song and I realized, while he was singing, it explains what I cannot. Tried in the past, but just keep it to myself now.

“A chair is still a chair

Even when there’s no one sitting there

 But a chair is not a house

And a house is not a home

When there’s no one there to hold you tight

And no one there to kiss goodnight.

Burt Bacharach and Hal David wrote this; enlightened men, indeed. But that’s not my point.

I have a house.

I want a home.

Massage Mayhem

Just mentioning the word “massage table” might give you the idea that I am filthy rich and eating my weight in bonbons. When I’m not on the massage table.  And you would be wrong. You would also be wrong if you thought I was at one of those *wink wink* massage places. Just so you know.

I “accidentally” signed up for a monthly massage (reduced rate) at a massage therapy spot nearby. I say “accidentally” because I don’t want to be rude. And the first visit was great. They charge me for a monthly massage, whether I’m dead or alive. I thought I could cancel easily … but the fine print says I must send a handwritten letter in a bottle on the second day after a blue moon. Aggghhhhhhh! I thought it would be a good idea to cash in on my monthly “purchase”; am residing in Stressville and, to quote my dad, currently, “If I didn’t have bad luck, I’d have no luck at all.” I thought a massage would help. I am an idiot. A polite idiot, but idiot nonetheless.

“Jacey” took me to my room where I disrobed and jumped under the covers. He returned, asked me what type of massage therapy I wanted, and I was VERY CLEAR that it would be shoulders, neck, and arms ONLY.  And I began to relax as he removed my shoulders from my ears. Ten minutes in, I was r-e-l-a-x-i-n-g.

The next thing I know, “Jacey” moved to my feet. And the conversation in my head went this way for the next 50 minutes:

“I HATE feet. What is he doing? Feet are ugly. Useful. But ugly. How can he confuse feet with shoulders?”

Oh, God. He has a foot fetish. What is he doing? This is weird. Get away from my feet or I will kill you.”

Then he wrapped my feet in hot towels and told me to flip over. I thought maybe now that I was face up, he’d snap out of it. My mistake. He put an eye pillow over my peepers, then proceeded to drape the covers so that my right foot, leg and almost my “privacy” was exposed.

“Excuse me, freak, but that is not a shoulder. What is he doing? Get away from my privacy. I’m supposed to relax. This sucks!”

He returned to foot fetish land, working that right foot for all it’s worth; then regrouping and groping the left one.

“What is the freaking deal with my feet? I am NOT relaxed, I am in a misery. And am too chicken to yell at you, you perv!”

Finally, he covered my feet. Then he came to the head of the table and ruffled my hair, as you would a little boy or a dog. WTH? And then he left.

“God is good. He’s gone. I am free!”

It was the second weirdest, worst massage ever. Second only to the one where the massage therapist had a hang nail and when she was finished, my back looked like a barber pole.

I need to grow some. When my life luck changes. Hopefully sooner than …

Later.

Sheesh.

Feel A Big Cry Coming On

I hate when this happens.  And it always happens when I find myself at the corner of What’s Next? and Which Way Do I Turn? Making changes in life is a necessary, ongoing process. Individual evolution and all that. And I totally own my decisions to hold ’em or fold ’em. But I keep forgetting I’m directionally dyslexic. Temporarily paralyzing.  Bear with me as I try to ward off the waterworks. Think happy thoughts, damn it….

  • Eldest daughter snagged dream job. Rah!
  • Youngest daughter is blissfully happy. Rah!
  • My parents are alive and vital. Rah!
  • My sister is hanging in and hanging on. Rah x 100!
  • Cooking Partner is so good to me. Woo!
  • Miss my heart friends (the ones who know me best and love me anyway). So lucky to have them. Hoo!
  • Am absolutely blown away by the people I know who are fighting major battles, with smiles on their faces. My heros. Rah!
  • Every time I read JoDee Luna’s blog, I come away with much to think about.  Her post today included the phrase, “Maybe the only treasures in this world are relational…”. I BELIEVE this with all my heart. It makes me happy. And sad for the people I know who can’t be bothered to consider this and act accordingly. Oy!

Oh no! Eyes are welling up with sad liquid. Would go find a bath sheet and let it flow… but have a haircut scheduled   this afternoon. Must think here. Stiffen upper lip. Go to hair deal. Come home. Allow dam to break unless divine intervention occurs. Whatever……

Later.

Spring Cleaning My Life

Even though the temperature around here wanders between 80-degrees and 32-degrees, I’m going to go ahead and declare it Spring.  In doing so, it’s also time for me to do some serious spring cleaning – emotionally, mentally, and physically.  Before I begin, a list is necessary ….

  1. No more clutter … clean out the closets, the drawers, lose the paper piles, donate/sell everything I don’t need.
  2. No more wishy-washy people.  Time is precious.  Do not spend time with wishy-washy because that is a complete waste of time.  Simple.  Keep it simple.
  3. Balance.  Find balance.
  4. Don’t accept the unacceptable.  Don’t put up with bad behavior.  Don’t have to.  Not gonna do it.
  5. Scrub the dirt and grime right out of my home, my mind, my heart.
  6. Remove posts from this blog that are no longer applicable.

Looks like I’ve already started. One down, five to go.

Later.

39 Things I Like

For the second time in as many weeks, I am wide awake at 2 a.m.  This is not my favorite time to greet the day. There isn’t even a day to greet yet. If I’m up, I might as well do something. And it might as well be positive. If I think about things I like, maybe all those good thoughts will send me back into a dreamy state. Here goes.

LIKES

  • sleeping through the night
  • trying new restaurants
  • long talks with friends over coffee, tea, or alcohol
  • peonies, hydrangeas, tulips, roses, lilies
  • hiking
  • my friends
  • dancing around my house
  • the ability to pay the bills
  • funny greeting cards – sent and received
  • the feeling of being loved and cherished as a human being and especially as a woman
  • deep tissue massage
  • people who do what they say and own what they do
  • the way my dog looks at me like I’m the greatest thing since rawhide bones
  • change for the better
  • the ability to change for the better
  • having a clean house that I didn’t clean
  • the aroma of freshly baked bread
  • shivery weather, a fire, lots of blankets and all that entails
  • celebrating any and every occasion
  • did I mention sleep?
  • good workouts
  • cooking for others; Cooper and I are hardly epicurious
  • living in the present; the past is so over
  • refusing to finish a book that is crap
  • sincerity
  • travel – yikes, I’ve been “grounded” for too long
  • the blessings that come from situations that are anything but
  • discovering someone I thought was completely dreadful is really delightful
  • flushing out bargains
  • having someone help me do the things I can’t
  • the ability to do what I can, when and wherever – and doing it
  • “Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific” shampoo
  • my dad’s laugh
  • morning people
  • adventures
  • crossing activities – and some people – off my list – done!
  • knowing when to walk away
  • knowing when to stay
  • my bed

The last item on this list reminds me that I am sleepy, I’m lucky to have a bed to go to, and that’s where I’m headed.

Good Night/Middle of Night/Very Early Morning/Whatever!